Friday, March 24, 2017


There are kind people helping and I thank GOD for each and every one of them.
Yet, I have no one to talk to on a daily basis who can converse back with me.
Daily, I pray to GOD but He’s far too keen on where and how and yet has never been very much about the why?
Then my friend Edward who also has Cancer dies, Tribble Dog dies, Lucy Dog dies, LilyDog dies! Other friends do not know what to say and they just drift away…
For the ones who do know, they have nothing more to say and I feel helpless once again.
Another night of restless nightmarish sleep, I wake up drenched in sweat, scared, paranoid, again and again...
I just want to crawl up into a ball, into/under a blanket, under a rock cause Joyce you’re still missing.
Once upon a time I could help others but I cannot now help myself for Joyce I am missing you...
Tears always seem to be formed around the edges of my eyes.
The pain in my body gets worse and worse with each passing day.
Praying to GOD to take me home and make this all go away. People tell me that this will pass, or to not worry that my soul is only temporary living in my body anyway?
I am scared to go out of this homes doors that open for free, from all the LOVE that once was in this house, for every time I leave something bad happens?
It’s an empty silent home from what it used to be.
I am so bloody alone and there is no purpose in my life, here for me…
Richard Abbenbroek... 

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