Wednesday, February 28, 2018

WHEN LONELINESS SURROUNDS ME…

WHEN LONELINESS SURROUNDS ME…
LONELINESS for Joyce surrounds me today, so forgive me but I say the pox (yet forgive them) on those who find me too depressing, as they are the heartless. For they have not yet traveled as I; Day and Night throughout with broken heart but yet, in their futures they can truly count on me being with them for theirs.
My torment of loss, dreams, just missing Joyce, is a constant loneliness and full of fear.
For me this LONELINESS equals only PAIN UPON PAIN.
Another moment, second, minute, hour, day, month since losing Joyce AS PAIN GRIPS me, yet again and again…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLMW2ZlEG5Q
"LORD GOD; help me make it through this DAY & NIGHT!”
I pray, as my personal depth of Loneliness has me again, as I am tonight wide awake!
Then as I try to lay me down once again too sleep, as I pray;
FATHER GOD, please let me sleep deeply just once, throughout one Lonely Free Night!
Comforted me just like I was when with Joyce all those 28 years; long before this loneliness, of her loss engulfed me.
Then bade me gently awake, upon the Next Mornings Light…

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

HIPPO DAYS

Some days my Doctors help me fly like an eagle. Other times, they bog me down like a chained Hippopotamus.
On “Eagle Days” I’m grateful for my Doctors who have saved my life but yet, not my Wife.
Then there are those “Hippo Days” when I rue the day I had to go visit a Doctor.
As once I have had to contend with a virus that invaded my body. What bothers me most is that viruses are created not maliciously but they are part of our earned inherit right to dwell here, after countless generations on this, GOD's planet.


For there are brighter people than I, who work with these good or bad micro organisms throughout their lives and want to make people well such as you and I, the virus hosts that we are when feeling miserable.
What’s worse, we I permitted these viruses to enter ourselves by nothing more innocent then a bump or a scratch as these micro organisms live on top of our skin always, on our bodies largest organ.


Just as we let a virus into our bodies, we also let darkness into our spiritual lives when we open ourselves unthinkingly to Evil that permeates our world also.


We let down our guard for a moment with self-driven vanity and or pride etc.; hardly noticing that which infects our souls is no different than the microorganisms that surrrond us daily! For there is no good and bad as Evil, is just Bad!
To defeat it we seek GOD by reading GOD’s Word, and praying 24/7 to Him if need be, we build a firewall, or barrier, to safeguard ourselves.


With His help, we’ll keep our minds from becoming unwitting hosts for unwanted Evil guests who like the virus, are part of our existence on this broken world.
So be positive but be aware and guard your minds and hearts as you would with some Doctors cures. Be proactive for yourself or yes, you will fall through the cracks. Then it is to late to repel the invader as you are too weak to fight back!


May the grace of God be with you all always!
With LOVE to you and with all that heaven will allow!
https://youtu.be/av58E3VLplA
From,

Thursday, February 22, 2018

SIR RICHARD & EVIE

SIR RICHARD & EVIE
https://youtu.be/BxGE65pn2vg
Yes,
She is such a loving puppy. Though is fearful of people, coyotes and like me just about everything.
I just love watching her improve as time goes by.
We run, play and lay at the back door together watching the rabbits in the park runabout.
She does not bark but is still and quiet like a wolf.
Though one night, something was outside and she growled and man can she bark.
Last night I was sick and bleeding and she dragged out of her den a blanket to cover me as best as a dog can. Then she stayed with me watching, always watching.
We just live in that kind of world.
Thank you,
Richard & Evie
https://youtu.be/6CNB5OLUPM0

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

THE HURT

I am in pain again today, for I am not holding up well. I once had a dream on the first day we moved into this house and after I awoke. I remember, that I was walking downstairs, the sun was shining and everything and everyone was gone, as I was all alone. It was if I was doing a final inspection before I had to hand my keys to the new owners?
I know with GOD your never alone but the PAIN in my life is still there; as I am not a human light switch, just a child really.
Yet should I out live Evie Dog, this dream will become true, that I will be the last to leave our home.
The Hurt,
by Sir Richard...
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER SON AND HOLY GHOST I PRAY.
AMEN.

Monday, February 19, 2018

HAPPY FAMILY DAY!

HAPPY FAMILY DAY!
https://youtu.be/sRMP_bo1B4M
I believe that we are all related, to all people.
Because if you look at the fact that we all come from our Father GOD in heaven.
Extend that genetically, back to the Mitochondrial DNA traces of us all back in time you will see that we come from our one mother in Africa at around 1,000,000 years ago.
Or, even know that we are all part of the same Human Race of the many types of species on this Planet, hence we are again related!
Then you could also consider this that we are all made up of carbon and hydrogen atoms.
Which makes all stardust material and this makes us all children of the universe, which brings us all back to being creations of GOD!
https://youtu.be/ajgeaOt_HTQ
By my calculations we all have, many, many relatives, as we are all related to all people.
So, do not worry about who you may, or may not have as relatives.
Just must keep in mind, that luckily they will never all show up at once to your house for dinner.
Yes, today is a good day to be alive,
HAPPY FAMILY DAY!
https://youtu.be/Es3Vsfzdr14
With Love, from your Cousin Sir Richard...
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/

Thursday, February 15, 2018

THINK AND TAKE HEED!

THINK AND TAKE HEED!
1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
2 This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God,
3 but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in
the world.
4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
5 They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them.
6 We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood!
1 John 4: 1-6  https://youtu.be/UkPhGRQzboE

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

VALENTINES DAY FOR ME

VALENTINES DAY FOR ME
https://youtu.be/qxZInIyOBXk
JOYCE PAST TUESDAY MAY 27TH 2014 AND AS OF TODAY MONDAY FEBRUARY 12TH 2018;
IT HAS BEEN:
3 Years,
113 Months,
1357 DAYS,
32,568 Hours,
1,954,080 Minutes,
117,244,800 Seconds
HAVE PAST.
https://youtu.be/GU9yh1WHUio
BUT ONLY THANKS TO GOD WHO GAVE EVIE DOG,
AS SHE MAKES MY LIFE MUCH BETTER, BEFORE WE ARE BOTH CALLED HOME OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE.
SO HOLD ON TO THE ONE YOU LOVE AND SAY,
I LOVE YOU - TO YOUR LOVE AS SECONDS ARE SO FLEETING WHEN SPENT SO LONG ALONE...
https://youtu.be/HTzGMEfbnAw
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Personally I do not believe or celebrate Valentine’s Day.
As my forever Valentine, who is my Wife and Best Friend,
Joyce received from me
and to me from her.
A Valentine of sorts, that was at least once a month and out of the blue.
It is called a "Just Because" gift, or card or thought.
So guys as a bit of advice, "Just Because Love" lasts much longer,
then a single day event.
"A Just Because to your Love.
To The One Whom ever You LOVE make sure this LOVE is Every Day!"
https://youtu.be/TTA2buWlNyM
To My First And Only Unconditional Love,
Lady Joyce Henwood
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
https://youtu.be/FRyXD9AKeXQ
LOVE;
Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It does not dishonour others,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love never fails & now these three remain:
Faith, Hope & Love but the greatest of these is LOVE.
from,
Sir Richard Abbenbroek...
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.com/

Thursday, February 1, 2018

“IN YOUR ANGER DO NOT SIN”

“IN YOUR ANGER DO NOT SIN”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFj0rxyNCtc 
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do n...ot give Satan a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27).
I believe that anger by itself is not a sin, as it is one of the most common emotions associated with the 7 Stages of Grief:

1. SHOCK and; DENIAL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=984eY9Yeqb0
the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks as it did when I found Joyce and through her Life Celebration.

2. PAIN & GUILT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nFPvRFvUc
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase because I was on unknown territory and did not have Joyce to bounce my thoughts off of for the first time in 28 years.

3. ANGER and; BARGAINING:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG3L0RGY6yM
Frustration gives way to anger which is where I seem to be right now and you may lash out! On anyone and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else which I did to certain Doctors. I advise that you try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against GOD, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with GOD for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink, swear again, etc. or please let me give part of my body if You GOD, would just bring her/him back, please I am begging You LORD!").

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABYJo53mHHQ
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from some others may not be helpful to you during this stage of grieving. Like the person who suggested that I start dating again?
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair as it is hard to leave my home for any reason other than food or medical.

5. THE UPWARD TURN:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz7ifClpT4g
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, they say that your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly. As I pray to Father GOD, the Son JESUS CHRIST and the HOLY SPIRIT every day for this.

6. RECONSTRUCTION and; WORKING THROUGH:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCrlyX6XbTU
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE and; HOPE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i98kmJGz_nE
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled “YOU” that existed before this tragedy but you will find a way forward for me with GOD’s help.
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes but the wrenching pain will be mostly gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living. For one day you will know though the loss is forever while you’re on earth but you will know that you have made it through the 7 Stages Of Grief.

"As I have gone through that shock and denial period for about the last six months," after the passing of Joyce. "Then suddenly, as my shock and denial wore off and the reality of Joyce’s passing set in and then came the “ANGER”. For I mean “INTENSE ANGER” is what I feel now! For now I just want to wail, to scream from the depths of my soul. There's no way I can express as much anger that I am feeling."

They say one need’s to release their anger in a way that is productive for healing and not harmful to others around me. To release my anger does not mean to lash out, to throw a fit, or to lose control of it; releasing your anger involves the open and honest expression of your emotions in a way that is physically, mentally, and emotionally freaking so now I Vent out “BY WRITING” at the injustices of my life. I express my anger to GOD in prayer and I don't hold back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPexiProLhs

They say I could release my anger in the presence of a person who will listen quietly and neither judge nor offer advice. This I do with a select few people whom I trust, as I am not good with discussing (me) in group sessions. Another healthy way to release my anger as I said above is to write down every angry thought that comes to mind until I cannot think of another angry sentence to write! As I do a lot of writing as I have much to write as you all know.

The fact is I read, that you should "not let the sun go down on your anger" does mean for me, that you should deal with it when it is present. Don't go to sleep and try to forget it, for you will only have it come back in greater strength later. Like any married couple who bicker before they sleep, you should never go to sleep angry. Joyce and I used to say no matter how pissed we were with each other, “Kiss Noise, Good Night, I Love You!” and this took years of the maturing of our relationship to accomplish.
So I pray; that GOD, grant me the freedom and opportunity to release my anger in a way that helps, not hurts. AMEN.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EVd_zghQXA

I am trying so hard to get back in control of my life but my life cannot be controlled by me alone and anger with frustration often comes out as a result. I am not GOD, I cannot fix everyone, everything; sorry friends and family. As I am spent, burnt out really and I only have my FAITH IN GOD or people who are close and health workers to prop me up.

For when I hear about others problems, something in me says, Oh, No. No, No, that's not my life. For once, I have to be selfish and help only a few but not much more. I must concentrate on my life these days and one day I will hear the Doctor say; that I'm again healthy. Life is now remembering my wife say “I LOVE YOU” as opposed to “Mr. Abbenbroek your wife has passed” as was said both to me on May 27th 2014.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0anqjYUD0D0

So I pray yet again; LORD, I get so angry when I feel out of control. I just want to get a grip on things again. Teach me that by giving me Your strength for my life, so I will be empowered to help others once again sometime. As I will also someday, be able to walk in the sun with You Oh LORD GOD. AMEN.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKGjEvoEOUY

P.S. Lord I'm much too young to feel this dam old.
by Sir Richard...
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/