Tuesday, October 25, 2011


So I think I went insane today, for right now I wonder what that was all about.
So I think I went insane today, as my CANCER begged me to paraphrase Moby Dick, and I just wanted to shout;
“To the last, I grapple with thee; from my own heart, I stab at thee; for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee, for if my chest had been a cannon, I’d burst my heart's hot shell upon the CANCER that is within!”

So I think I went insane today, as my CANCER and I fought yet another nightly round.
With my CANCER PAIN as the song says; “I was just a tossing and a turning, turning and a tossing, tossing and a turning all night long!”
So I think I went insane today as my CANCER and I, wrestled with each other all over town.

So I think I went insane today, yet right now I wonder what that was all about.
Operation number 4 and my CANCER it’s still NOT confirmed all TOTALLY GONE.
CANCER why don’t you get out of my life, and let me make a brand new start, let me just get over you!
But my CANCER just keeps me, for the next five years or more, Just Keeps Me Hanging On…
So I think I went insane today for again and right now, I wonder what that was all about.

Yet you beg the question to ask; Richard, Only Just Today?

by Sir Richard…

Sunday, October 16, 2011



As a Child when friends or people became cruel to me without reason, I was shocked, hurt and left not understanding why? Then into my Adulthood, thinking that I would be wiser, more experienced and hence could handle those who hurt me for some unforeseen reason.
I was wrong, as I never learned why or how they came to their point of cruelty towards me, knowingly or not. The answer I eventually found out, is actually within them and finally I have come to know that I cannot change their within but only mine.
For from this I finally did learn to handle a “cruel without reason” by others but it still hurts but by walking away and knowing to leave well enough alone and let the cruelty that is, dwell within only them and try not to let it dwell in myself.
In return the cruelty from others, can be easily be stopped by expressions of disapproval.  The only reason why their emotional vulnerability is not clearly evident is because they are unable to really mask it behind their smiling/angry faces and because they are also unable, at the same time keep their attention focused on the discomfort of their victims.
Sort of by the single rail mentality in a Narcissistic train of thought as they may leave this single rail thinking at any time and hop back on as well as the occasion requires.
Actually, it is but one way of thinking and limited in scope to a singular direction of cruelty. That will eventually and always lead them to violence, from a cause which is still always even unknown but to them though the effect is not limited to a few but many others over time.
To quote from Psalm 35:4-6 “May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot my ruin be turned back in dismay. May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away; may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.”  
By Sir Richard - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8QubLxJI54

Thursday, October 13, 2011


“The Mists of Fear”

I have found that most people change kind of slowly, if at all. They are who they are and then after a while, they're someone else, some never knowing the difference when it happens.

While at the same time some people know the exact moment where their lives changed such as myself, for this I do know.
Either they saw the person they were going to marry or, the look in their baby's eyes for the first time he/she smiled.
For some people, it's not the good things in life that made them have their lives change. It's something they've gone through that makes everything they look at from that moment on; seem very different from how it always once had been.
Again I am one of the latter groups of people, for from my experience I learned not only how to fear for real and to fear all the time but also how to channel this fear to help others.
People like to examine the things that frighten them, to look at them and give them names, so saints look for GOD, and scientists look for evidence. They're both just trying to take away the mystery, to take away their lack of knowledge that leads them to Fear.
That's what I try and do by channelling my fear, just by the sharing of myself and as others who are like me, who also do the same.

Speaking for myself essentially, I am just a good listener. Although, I am not a trained social worker, psychiatrist, police officer or lawyer, I let the people who are like me know that just like them. I have already gone through the same Mists of Fear, Despair and Horror, as they. I/We offer them our hands, hearts, minds, prayers in support as we walk through these people’s “Mists of Fear” together.

by Sir Richard...aka Richard G. Abbenbroek
Oh P.S., I also took this photo, it is of Lake Louise in Alberta Canada.

Monday, October 10, 2011

My Fall Legend Photos by Richard

Hello folks,
Here is a link to my current photos that I took titled:
“My Fall Legend Photos by Richard”
Hope you like them.
Sincerely, with Love and all that Heaven will allow!
Sir Richard...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Unfamiliar Turf

Unfamiliar Turf
Ever since my 20’s, I have found upon reflection that for me I always seem to be, on unfamiliar turf over and over again. I look back and see just how much my life has changed and now once again with my Cancer, I am truly on unfamiliar turf.
By trial and error I found that sometimes the best way to move into the unfamiliar is to take familiar steps, small steps. To do ordinary things to deal with something that is in no way, ordinary.
After all, throughout one’s life we're always going someplace new all the time. Familiar things just let us pretend that we aren't moving into unfamiliar territory.
You take those small familiar steps, and you try to be honest, to live as if nothing had changed and still to just go on with your life. Then again, there are times when what you actually need, is just a small piece of how things used to be and by acting them out, or through them such as, via a visit with a good for your soul, long-time old Friend.
Then you will find out that once again you are still all right, not in the past but in your new unfamiliar and at times, I have taken comfort by doing this. My advice is, always Cherish your Friends as you will need them, when you encounter your unfamiliar turf…

Written with Love and all that heaven will allow by,
Sir Richard....

Sunday, October 2, 2011

About A Moment

I WAS JUST THINKING, about how often the small things in life, such as a moment or so, can have so much control over us.
It's like an amusement ride that you never asked to go on and after, you found that you were right, that there was really not much amusement.
As a lot can happen in one’s a day, for sure…
For in a full second, then a minute, an hour and even a day, the small things in life can bring so much to us, Good or Bad.
That is why I go through life a Nano second by Nano second, in making my daily plans. As I have found that Nano second events, are so much smaller and easier to digest. ;)
Just a moment of thought from,
Sir Richard...