Wednesday, August 28, 2013


By Wellspring Video Class - Aug. 17, 2013 - Richard's Story
Thanks for sharing your story Richard and thanks to everyone else for making our first video class so fun and relaxed!
A song for my Sarcoma Cancer Photos:
As I send my LOVE to you all and with all that heaven will allow!

Saturday, August 24, 2013


How many nights have I begged GOD just to let me die? It would seem that GOD does not care. I am so tired of the hurt and pain bodily and mentally which within me never seems to stop. The emptiness that resides within me that the useless doctors cannot fill. I hate myself for what my life has become. So empty, so worthless. Many times of late I wished that I was never born. Now at times I can hardly wait to die! The battle that I have fought for all of my life is almost over. At death I will be free of the demons that I have fought all of my life, united with Jesus Christ as we battle with them back to the gates of hell.
All of my life I have felt as if I was on the outside looking in, detached in some way, I at times don't know where I am going with this? I thought that I had things sorted out, thought that I was wise but not at all wise it seems…
What am I saying to GOD? Am I actually surrendering my life over to Him? It is really important that you talk to Him like you are talking to all of us? I know that He is listening and waiting for me to surrender or the time that He will tell me to surrender. It seems to me that I am trying to control my destiny by trying to end my journey here on earth before GOD is ready for me to be called home to heaven. So I thought that if He was ready for me, He would have taken me already. So I believe that He still has a plan for me here on earth and obviously it hasn't been done yet. I should absolutely just sit down and tell Jesus Christ that I cannot go on this way and ask what His plans for me are? I am sure that He will show me the way, but you first I have to let go of the negativity. For I cannot see through to the positive with this negative burden, for which I have been holding.
I should do and try praying for someone else, even beg to be allowed for another’s safety through the sacrifice of myself. As I should try to take the focus off of me for a change. Then I should ask GOD to lead me towards what He wants from me here? I will pray harder for others, again give Him the offer of my sacrifice for others. Continue to try an keep my head up above the water and don't give up! As Satan tries to lure and begs me to do so and sinfully find relief.
May GOD help us all…
So I send my LOVE to you all and with all that heaven will allow!
from, Sir Richard...

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


Also the recent US Terror Alert in my opinion is just so much hookum! More of a wag the dog if you will, in response to the invasion of privacy leaks that the US Government recently seems to be involved for everyone’s safety. As for the Attack Warning either way, if nothing happens it can be said; “we stopped the attack” and if something happens. The US.Gov can say; "see we told you so, that this would happen!" I’m just saying.
With Love to you all, even the sheep amongst us.
Sir Richard…

Sunday, August 4, 2013


My Soft Tissue Sarcoma Cancer is not totally gone. To start, I have Prinzmetal angina & Ischemic Heart Disease (plus 3 Heart Stents) along with type 2 Diabetes that for some reason I am resistant to Insulin and hence I am fighting hard to control it. My Prostate is enlarged and also my old hernia repair became undone and the mesh jabs causing Bleeding and they say I have Diverticulitis, so I bleed but they will not operate unless it is an Emergency due to my Heart problems.
I do not sleep because I have Nerve Damage in my left arm and am unable to sleep. They have tested so many drugs on me, that it is unreal!!! Now they plan on killing the nerves in my left arm, which again is dangerous.
Though, I have had so many body changes I have yet turned into a werewolf (now that would be fun), just for poops and giggles! Also, I have neither given up, though there are days that I ask GOD, why???
I know that He must have His reason, and I know heaven is real for I have quite a few friends there now…

"There are many here among us,
Who feel that life is but a joke,
But you and I, we've been through that.
And this is not our fate…
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late!!"

As you might not know I wear a device that helps keep my left arm keep inactive in the night so the Cancer pain is not that bad. Speaking of bed, I fell out of my bed twice so far in the last 3 weeks, as I could not BREATH, Sleep Apnoea? Told my Doc today but she seemed not concerned but she is quiet at times and hard to read. My left side of my body was gouged badly and as I fell both times I hit my filing cabinet, on the way down so I bleed badly, due to my blood thinners.
Sometimes after talking to my new Cancer friends from the Tom Baker Cancer Centre and WellSpring, they ask why did they not do Chemo or Radiation to treat me. My Doc says, it’s because of my heart problems, on my last visit I asked if she would ask my Cancer Oncologist whom I call Mac the Knife. If I could at least get a MIR just like my Cancer Survivor Buddies, also ask Mac, why like them I do not have one done every year? Then I thought, do they know something that I do not? As my Paranoid side of me asks; “maybe I am dying and they cannot tell me for some unknown reason”? Grassy Knoll, thoughts from a mad man, well not as bad as Vincent in any way, though my last name is Dutch.
X-Rays do not show Cancer, CT Scans do not show Cancer only MIR’s show Sarcoma Cancer mine is rare, lucky eh (Lord why not the Lotto?) and they take their time? I want to know for if I have, let's say; just one year. I want to take a grey hound bus to Tucson Az and see the Prima Air Museum. Or maybe beg on the streets and raise money so I can go to France and visit my Great Uncle's Grave from WW1.
Still, why not Chemo or radiation? My left breast area hurts, my breathing and walking is bad. The Docs leave hints but no answers; “oh they said that I should not worry as your in line for your cancer is probably back”.
For more info on Sarcoma Cancer See:
F.Y.I. Sarcoma Cancer (Sarcoma Cancer again by the way is very rare!), for it does not target one particular area of the body. About 43% percent of Sarcoma Cancers occur in the extremities (e.g., arms, legs = like me); 34% percent occur in and around the internal organs (e.g., uterus or heart = heart like me?); 10% percent occur in the trunk (e.g., chest, back); and 13% percent occur in other locations. In very rare cases, these tumors develop in the gastrointestinal tract (me again with my bleeding?). A small percentage of these are GISTs or known as a gastrointestinal stromal tumor. Malignant GISTs occur most commonly in the stomach and small intestine, is this me also?
Well that's me Folks, bleeding and pain, brought to you by who knows? That's right you too can have your very own type of Sarcoma Cancer for a down payment of $1.00 down $1.00 a month for 100 years! Call Now...
With LOVE to you all and may you all be blessed with all that heaven will allow!
Sir Richard…

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Zach Sobiech Story

Zach Sobiech, at the age of 14, found out he had a rare form of terminal cancer. So he became a rock star, and millions of people got to see his music before he passed away on May 20, 2013. This is his beautiful story, for you never know what to expect until you lose someone dear to your heart this way. If you wouldn't mind sharing this so more people hear Zach's story, I'd love it. His family has requested that anyone who is interested in helping change the fate for future children like Zach donate to the research fund set up on his behalf.
Zach Sobiech Story:
When you have Cancer you find out quickly, all who really Love You.
Yet at the same time there are those who surprise you, because they seem that they do not. Forgive these ones, for when they run away it is not that they do not LOVE you but their fear makes them run, as wheat chaff to be scattered in the wind…
Bask in the ones who do Love You, for they are blessings whom will always help you through.
Also, Cancer Battles are very lonely for they are just like a really scary Roller Coaster ride, that has you the lone rider, of which you are always totally terrified on!
To date in regards with my Cancer Battle, (It's Baaack), I am tenaciously holding my ground.
So, until I find myself “Many Years Cancer Free” my Cancer Battle goes on and on,
Because I am in GODS Hands; for as always, “HIS will be done.”
To those who Love me – Thank You!
Sincerely, with Love to you all!
from Sir Richard…