I HAVE BECOME
JOB
In the Old Testament Job 1
1 In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name
was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2
He had seven sons and three daughters, 3 and he owned seven thousand sheep,
three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and
had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of
the East.
4 His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on
their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with
them. 5 When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make
arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a
burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and
cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular
custom.
6 One day the angels came to present themselves
before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. 7 The LORD said to Satan, “Where
have you come from?”
Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout
the earth, going back and forth on
it.”
8 Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you
considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless
and upright, a man who fears God and shuns
evil.”
9 “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied.
10 “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has?
You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread
throughout the land. 11 But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he
has, and he will surely curse you to your
face.”
12 The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then,
everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a
finger!”
Then Satan went out from the presence of the
LORD…
Richard here, to tell the truth I am working hard
every day to become closer to GOD.
Then as for myself being “blameless and upright,”
I am always trying to be careful to avoid doing evil. Well, let’s just say that
my work is daily, to become even more righteous. So, I would like to testify my
story of FAITH with you if I may?
My life I feel at times is a series of crises
punctuated by major disasters big and small but I always keep trying. For all of
us, is this not what we all do each day of our short lives to continue on till
one by one you and I plus every other individual is called home by the
LORD.
Just 28 years ago Joyce and I met and just a mere
21 years ago, we had a combined family with my wife Joyce we had her 3 my 2 plus
2 house guests, 2 boyfriends one a cousin, a cat and not to soon after this 3
puppy dogs. Every day was a challenge and adventure at the same time. The thing
that I Loved the most was my Wife Joyce both of us like 2 log poles holding the
other up when needed. We traveled life’s road and have been there and done that,
made it through moments of pee your pants giggles, struggle and strife. Yet my
life on this earth was made better With Joyce we were a
team.
The Christmas one year was our lesson in
gluttony, for I was the present decorative wrapper and when Joyce got the troops
and things done would come into the parental fortress of; those who must be
obeyed or when voluntold! We both wrapped till three in the morning and were
exhausted after this but we did it with LOVE as this was a
tradition.
This year though the tree was almost buried
(promised Joyce I would never post the photo), all the way up to the Star Tree
Topper both of us had a night cap and looked at the insanity of our efforts but
eh? Tradition and if you looked at it was sort of an art form. OK maybe if you
looked hard with your eyes and imagination while Bing sang “Oh Holy Night” in
the background. Now the rules were that this day was the only day I did not have
to make coffee for Joyce and our family was only to wake us up at 9:00 AM with
our Christmas stockings and coffee for Mom and I, which all could open their
stockings but NOT the presents. This is a Voluntold and Not Negotiable At All!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8847nrkci34
Joyce was not a spring out of bed person, as you
could have a War beside her side of the bed and she slept through it. I on the
other hand woke up at a creaking of the floor. As this is why I knew that after
we crashed at 3:30 AM, that my youngest daughter was down stairs already.
Drooling at the presents up to the tree top and reading the labels for hers.
Then another child and another till each of the “I CAN”T WAIT” had their turn
and now the long hall to 9:00 AM.
Tribble Dog dies, Lucy Dog dies, Lily Dog dies!
Other friends do not know what to say and they just drift
away…
For the ones who do know, they have nothing more
to say and I feel helpless once again.
Another night of restless nightmarish sleep, I
wake up drenched in sweat, scared, paranoid, again and again... (Last night it
was bad again (March 25th, 2017) as I could only see my puppy Lily Beth’s face
just before they put her down. I CRIED all night like I am now. I told her how
sorry I was and I know she knew what was about to happen as I failed her too.
Yet now It is so lonely here, sorry for being a
bother.)
I just want to crawl into a ball, into/under a
blanket, under a rock, cause Joyce also died from what her dog Lily Beth died of
after her; Congestive Heart Disease and from my life Joyce is
missing.
Once upon a time I could help others but I cannot
now help myself for Joyce I am missing you... In grief I am HOPELESSLY
TRAPPED!
Every moment of every day I am experiencing what
I can only describe as intolerable emotional pain, which is unrelenting, ever
pressing and directed from different sources consistently all the time.
WHAT HOPE FEELS
LIKE
HOPE is the motivation that we all have known
from the time of our own creation.
On through, to the individual growing pains for
each member of our families.
From our first beginnings newborns, to this
present day, then on toward the end to each of our own individual destinies
end.
Each of us waits daily, eagerly for
HOPE!
For as each day brings renewal with one or
another, again we all await with HOPE.
Nothing from GOD is greater than the gift of LOVE
and HOPE! To give your life so another person can live is the ultimate proof of
love. During the night that JESUS CHRIST was betrayed, He told His disciples of
His intention to give His life in exchange for mankind. He told them: “Greater
love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” and then
He set the ultimate example of self-sacrifice by going to the
cross.
For from this without giving another HOPE, what
is seen is no HOPE at all.
For whom HOPE’s, for what they already
have?
Because if we were to HOPE for what others HOPE
for, patiently in HOPE.
Then and only then, will we know "WHAT HOPE FEELS
LIKE"!
So remember, once you have it;
“NEVER GIVE UP
HOPE”!
FOR IF YOU LOSE HOPE, THEN NEXT COMES THE LOSS OF
YOUR FAITH.
WITHOUT FAITH, YOU BECOME TRULY OUT OF TOUCH WITH
GOD
AND THEN YOU WILL BE CAST OUT INTO THE ELEMENTS,
AS YOU BECOME NAKED, VULNERABLE, IN FOREVER PAIN AND
HOPELESS…
As for me well, I have Cancer X’s 2, Heart
Disease, Diabetes Type 2 that rejects the insulin I take. Which caused Non-Viral
Hepatitis, onto Non Alcoholic Cirrhosis and 40% of my Liver is now dead and my
Cancer is back but instead of my left arm it is in my neck, which will be
confirmed in April.
I have had 20 Cancerous polyps in my bottom that
were removed, also an unrepairable both side of me hernia mesh that that tore
away and has pushed things sort of out of whack.
My prostrate is enlarged but not yet cancerous,
yet?
Neuropathy from my left shoulder to the tips of
my left fingers, also in my feet due to the Diabetes and arthritis in both knees
which is really painful should I walk and for shits and giggles a bit of COPD
thrown in along with and I still do not believe them, PTSD since Joyce went home
to the LORD.
Job 17
1 My spirit is broken,
my days are cut short,
the grave awaits me.
So I am going to have a small bucket list of 1
thing that I can afford because I am
fearless!
Again, tears I have a plenty and if tears were
like money, I’d be rich!
I HAVE BECOME
JOB…
As with my torment I often feel like Job,
who I am not!
I feel it is the same test of FAITH within me.
Within all of us really, the same test of FAITH
As we sometimes live our lives just as Job
did.
Job
19:25-27
25 I know that my redeemer
lives,
and that in the end he will stand on the
earth.
26 And after my skin has been
destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see
God;
27 I myself will see
him
with my own eyes—I, and not
another.
How my heart yearns within
me!
Amen…
Written by Sir
Richard...
A Dead Man
Walking
P.S. Be without fear in the face of your enemies.
Be brave and upright, that God might love thee.
