“IN YOUR ANGER DO NOT SIN”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFj0rxyNCtc
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are
still angry and do n...ot give Satan a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27).
I believe that anger by itself is not a sin, as it is one of the most common emotions associated with the 7 Stages of Grief:
1. SHOCK and; DENIAL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=984eY9Yeqb0
the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain.
Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.
This may last for weeks as it did when I found Joyce and through her
Life Celebration.
2. PAIN & GUILT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nFPvRFvUc
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of
unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is
important that you experience the pain fully and not hide it, avoid it
or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty
feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved
one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase because I was on
unknown territory and did not have Joyce to bounce my thoughts off of
for the first time in 28 years.
3. ANGER and; BARGAINING:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG3L0RGY6yM
Frustration gives way to anger which is where I seem to be right now
and you may lash out! On anyone and lay unwarranted blame for the death
on someone else which I did to certain Doctors. I advise that you try to
control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result.
This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may
rail against GOD, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in
vain with GOD for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink, swear
again, etc. or please let me give part of my body if You GOD, would just
bring her/him back, please I am begging You LORD!").
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABYJo53mHHQ
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your
life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a
normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning
outsiders. Encouragement from some others may not be helpful to you
during this stage of grieving. Like the person who suggested that I
start dating again?
During this time, you finally realize the true
magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself
on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on
memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair as
it is hard to leave my home for any reason other than food or medical.
5. THE UPWARD TURN:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz7ifClpT4g
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, they say that
your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical
symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly. As I
pray to Father GOD, the Son JESUS CHRIST and the HOLY SPIRIT every day
for this.
6. RECONSTRUCTION and; WORKING THROUGH:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCrlyX6XbTU
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you
will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life
without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and
financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him
or her.
7. ACCEPTANCE and; HOPE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i98kmJGz_nE
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you
learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance
does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil
you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled
“YOU” that existed before this tragedy but you will find a way forward
for me with GOD’s help.
You will start to look forward and actually
plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about
your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes but the wrenching pain
will be mostly gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to
come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living. For one
day you will know though the loss is forever while you’re on earth but
you will know that you have made it through the 7 Stages Of Grief.
"As I have gone through that shock and denial period for about the last
six months," after the passing of Joyce. "Then suddenly, as my shock
and denial wore off and the reality of Joyce’s passing set in and then
came the “ANGER”. For I mean “INTENSE ANGER” is what I feel now! For now
I just want to wail, to scream from the depths of my soul. There's no
way I can express as much anger that I am feeling."
They say
one need’s to release their anger in a way that is productive for
healing and not harmful to others around me. To release my anger does
not mean to lash out, to throw a fit, or to lose control of it;
releasing your anger involves the open and honest expression of your
emotions in a way that is physically, mentally, and emotionally freaking
so now I Vent out “BY WRITING” at the injustices of my life. I express
my anger to GOD in prayer and I don't hold back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPexiProLhs
They say I could release my anger in the presence of a person who will
listen quietly and neither judge nor offer advice. This I do with a
select few people whom I trust, as I am not good with discussing (me) in
group sessions. Another healthy way to release my anger as I said above
is to write down every angry thought that comes to mind until I cannot
think of another angry sentence to write! As I do a lot of writing as I
have much to write as you all know.
The fact is I read, that
you should "not let the sun go down on your anger" does mean for me,
that you should deal with it when it is present. Don't go to sleep and
try to forget it, for you will only have it come back in greater
strength later. Like any married couple who bicker before they sleep,
you should never go to sleep angry. Joyce and I used to say no matter
how pissed we were with each other, “Kiss Noise, Good Night, I Love
You!” and this took years of the maturing of our relationship to
accomplish.
So I pray; that GOD, grant me the freedom and opportunity to release my anger in a way that helps, not hurts. AMEN.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EVd_zghQXA
I am trying so hard to get back in control of my life but my life
cannot be controlled by me alone and anger with frustration often comes
out as a result. I am not GOD, I cannot fix everyone, everything; sorry
friends and family. As I am spent, burnt out really and I only have my
FAITH IN GOD or people who are close and health workers to prop me up.
For when I hear about others problems, something in me says, Oh, No.
No, No, that's not my life. For once, I have to be selfish and help only
a few but not much more. I must concentrate on my life these days and
one day I will hear the Doctor say; that I'm again healthy. Life is now
remembering my wife say “I LOVE YOU” as opposed to “Mr. Abbenbroek your
wife has passed” as was said both to me on May 27th 2014.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0anqjYUD0D0
So I pray yet again; LORD, I get so angry when I feel out of control. I
just want to get a grip on things again. Teach me that by giving me
Your strength for my life, so I will be empowered to help others once
again sometime. As I will also someday, be able to walk in the sun with
You Oh LORD GOD. AMEN.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKGjEvoEOUY
P.S. Lord I'm much too young to feel this dam old.
by Sir Richard...
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/
