Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Hey, did I tell you that today is our anniversary day?

Hey, did I tell you that today is our anniversary day?

To Have and To Hold From This Day Forward
Today Joyce and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage. I could write my usual post or FB update on how amazing she is and how undeserving I am and how I'm glad we get to go on this journey together and that I hope we get 20 more years on this journey. I believe in those things and can easily say them and mean them. Though as smoke rises and ashes to ashes I am alone, still asking but why?

For Better, For Worse
In a bigger sense, 20 years later we would have had only each other to have and each other to hold. There is no one else and we loved that. We were still each other's best friend. What we started in only having and holding each other continued. We were always looking forward to more days, weeks, months, years and decades of only holding one another.
In the last 5 years, we didn't just get the pleasure of having and holding each other as this was a blessing. There was little else in this life given to us by GOD for us to cling to and yet WE still had each other.

For Richer, For Poorer
We've had remarkable "better" times. I know a lot of married people who seem to Love each other very much. Good on them. I can't think of anyone who has more fun being married than me and Joyce. It's was a trip. The "better" times were just grand, for when the bills were paid and the basement isn't flooding and the kids are getting good grades and there is not any major teenage or adult like rebellion. When times are good, we sung together and enjoy each other's company. We forgive each other quickly and enjoy each other’s idiosyncrasies. We made time to hang out and talk, to get alone and to also spend time around others. But anyone can endure the better times for what came next made the worse times now seem even better. Especially during the last 5 of our 30-23-20 years the "worse" times were pretty bad. Some things we've been through are still too painful to describe in a post like this, so I won't.

In Sickness and Health
Of course we had times of health and times of "sickness." What we learned along the way is that we got to endure it together and help each other in the sick times. I've told Joyce many times, that as odd as it seems I have found these times of her greatest fear and deepest sickness, namely right before she went home to be of great growth for me. She was helpless and needy and I got to serve her. I learned to take care of all of our household duties except money which to the end she handled that. From Joyce I learned to have someone lean hard on me in times of incredible need and I enjoyed being there for her. I also learned to lean hard on GOD because I was forced to live beyond my means...which is what I should have been doing all along.

To Love and To Cherish
We thanked GOD for those years of Racy Love and the millions of Kisses and endless hours of playful teasing. That's a part of our Love for and cherishing of each other. We thank GOD for the years of settling in to a deep and abiding Love through huge mistakes, hurtful arguments, angry comments, at times putting off forgiving each other, apathetic stretches, and lulls between moments of forgiveness and kissing each other like we really meant it and like we both didn’t have anything better to do.

Until Death Do Us Part
We had 20 years together that have gone by in a blink of an eye. Again I will tell you of how we traveled life’s roads and have been there, done that, made it through moments of pee your pants giggles, struggle and strife. Yet my life on this earth was made better with Joyce and now I have to live another day and night alone. I struggle to not join my ashes with hers as without her, I am sorry but for me now this is not life…
Hey, did I tell you that today is our anniversary day?

Written by Sir Richard –
For his Lady Joyce.

PHOTO: by Sir Richard
K.D Lang - Constant Craving
Shantell Ogden - Ghosts in the Field
George Canyon - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

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