YOU CANNOT KILL THE PAIN, THE PAIN INSIDE OF ME...

YOU CANNOT KILL THE PAIN, THE PAIN INSIDE OF ME...
https://youtu.be/o2vkAF8HFGE
That GOD Loves me enough to bless me with a choice of my fate and I choose to live to see what He has for me?
Yet, I am so very much alone, for some of those who have never lost a Spouse and well, they would not know what it is like at all.
Even after a mere 59 months since my wife’s passing. "Because I Care" what more can I say?
https://youtu.be/9VjflVwqeVw
I am so lonely, sad yeah, that some of you know this lesson sadly too, eh?
I truly mourn with thee, my tears if each one was worth a dollar, then we would all be rich.
Not that you’re asking what I wanted but all I ever wanted in my life; was a Wife, Kids along with a Long Life for my spouse and myself.
This house is so silent now I have, only memories, which I stare into only this silence not see anything but Evie Dog! For I have had 1/2 my heart torn from out of my chest as I plead?
WHY OR LORD? WHY...???
https://youtu.be/ASCZ5KHX0Rw
But mostly I just wish that the pain would be gone! GOD I pray that my Lady Joyce could only hold me now!
https://youtu.be/2FS3eLbc4fU
For in this pain that comes with the loss of a Loved One, whom I Loved and still Love and once Loved, all I know from this, is that this is going to "HURT", for a Long, Long time, yet to come!
This pain, deep inside within me which I feel; like the ghost pain of a limb amputee, a ghostly pain that will not go away…
For in my agony when at it's worst, makes me think of what GOD wants from me as I listen so hard for His answer?
Could His will be done, mean many more years until that I hear His plan?
https://youtu.be/tIdIqbv7SPo
Yet not to be totally negative GOD does comfort me though for just for a brief moment each morning.
In that brief moment I feel Joyce sleeping beside me and as she is sleeping, she is waiting for me to awaken her with a cup of coffee.
And also at this moment for one more time; to begin the day, as we say to each other with these words; "Kiss Noise, l Love U, how are you feeling today?
Just fine and You?
https://youtu.be/tbU3zdAgiX8
Written and Photo by SIR RICHARD.
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY JOYCE!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY AND
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY JOYCE!
https://youtu.be/ABYJo53mHHQ
LOVE FROM YOUR HEART
Does Love from your heart, dissipate like chimney smoke?
Or is it rock hard like granite, lasting for all of our eternities...
Do you stop Loving someone that you once Loved or have lost?
I think not, you store it and bring it out like a photo album.
To view and at times even share but it is stored and never stops.
Can you Love more than one person,
or is your personality like that of a single railway track?
Never diverting only going one direction and never to be shared,
I think not.
Love, is like the spokes of a bicycle wheel.
Racing out to as many as one needs to move on and always centered back.
To the Love from your heart...
Written by,
Sir Richard...
https://youtu.be/ASCZ5KHX0Rw
With all the Love that heaven where you are will allow! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Lady Joyce from her Sir Richard.
P.S. My wife Joyce's Birthday is today as you know. 

As you may also know I never got over her loss.
As time does not heal all it only makes your loving self tougher. This is why I wonder I guess for those who have been offended by me.
As I feel horrible as I feel very abandoned! So, as I held you all in high esteem, this is why, your abandonment hurt so.
Look at it from my P.O.V. I got Cancer and lost friends, heart disease and more friends, Joyce past and because I was in morning and at the same time ill.
I feel that I was abandoned for not being happy and some even had the coldness to tell me this? Forgive me people, but I am working on it hard for myself and for you I have forgiven, yet at times I wonder what lives in that chest of yours? 

Does this explain me at all?
https://youtu.be/5nG1GRGDfxE

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST LOVED ONES.

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST LOVED ONES.  

https://youtu.be/ASCZ5KHX0Rw
Hello,
It is always shocking to hear of someone's passing.
Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
As we believe, this passing is more to be envied then pitied, for we mere mortals can not distinguish between those who are deserving of grace and who are not.
Only the LORD GOD can and as such, GOD who is all knowing. Knows what kind of a person that your LOVED ONE was.
I am confident that your LOVED ONE now enjoys that bliss, which is prepared only for the good and virtuous.
You can now comfort yourselves in reflecting that your LOVED ONE now enjoys in substance, what we in this world, can only imagine what Heaven will be like.
May the LORD GOD give you all strength, to see you through this difficult time.
My deepest condolence and prayers.
With my Love,
https://youtu.be/HsM_VmN6ytk
Richard Abbenbroek...
Sir Richard
A Dead Man Walking 

6 MONTHS TODAY – YOU’RE MISSING

6 MONTHS TODAY – YOU’RE MISSING

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z8-9WwjeqM

You know in cartoons, the way someone can run off a cliff
and they're fine but they don't fall, until they look down?

I came to believe that this was the secret of life,
that if you "Never Look Down" all will be well but it's more than that.
It's not just about not looking down, what it is about is realizing that you're in the middle of the air and you don't know how to fly.  

So Joyce today, six Months seems like six seconds that feel like six years and yet you’re so close but also you’re so far away…

So when GOD decides one day through JESUS CHRIST; that on this day Joyce,

I shall be with Him and also be near you again.

Amen. 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tre-24uxVK8

Praying to JESUS and thinking of you Joyce, 
from your husband Richard.

6 MONTHS TODAY…

MY ROOMMATE'S HAND - 5 MONTHS TODAY

MY ROOMMATE'S HAND - 5 MONTHS TODAY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXMRQR20ajs

Of late I have again, been in tears every day due to the pain of my loneliness, for my wife Joyce (who passed 5 months today) and at the same time. I find it hard to even venture out my house, even if only just as far as the community mailbox.
You may not know it but I have been trained to fake being OK and at times in control. As there are those who say that I should be this way now but I am not.
For I am good at saying with Hope what needs to be said to Parents of Missing Children and even to myself, a lie? No; for at times, just a needed helpful diversion.
So I take my meds, deal with my puppies, eat, or each day just try to get out of bed.
Really and truthfully I wish that this was all just a bad dream from which when I awoke, it would be gone from my head.
Seeking some trustful advice I text my Pastor Friend, asking if he thought that I should talk this through with my new forever Roommate?
Good idea my Pastor Friend said; and also suggested that I read some of my forever Roommate’s words that are written in our Roommate’s agreement (the Bible).
Maybe try Psalm’s 46 or 62; to quote what my Pastor Friend said.
So after reading these, I did text my Pastor Friend back. Telling him that I have read my Roommate’s agreement and that my Roommate’s hand must be behind me reading this passage; Psalm 42.
For which I inadvertently selected upon opening my Roommate’s agreement.
It seemed pre-chosen and not at all, by mistake?     

Psalm 42
1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for You, my GOD.

2 My soul thirsts for GOD, for the living GOD.
   When can I go and meet with GOD?

3 My tears have been my food day and night,
   while people say to me all day long,
   "Where is your GOD?"

4 These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
    how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One
    with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
   Put your hope in GOD,
   for I will yet praise Him,
   my SAVIOR and my GOD.

6 My soul is downcast within me;
   therefore I will remember You
   from the land of the Jordan,
   the heights of Hermon,
   from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
   in the roar of Your waterfalls;
   all Your waves and breakers
   have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs His Love,
   at night His song is with me,
   a prayer to the GOD of my life.

9 I say to GOD my Rock,
  "Why have you forgotten me?
   Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
     as my foes taunt me,
     saying to me all day long,
    "Where is your GOD?"

11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
     Why so disturbed within me?
     Put your hope in GOD,
     for I will yet praise Him,
     my SAVIOR and my GOD.

Posted By,
Richard Abbenbroek
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tre-24uxVK8
P.S. To My Wife Joyce, I am Waiting for you, Listening for you, Watching for you, Wishing for you and one day in the future, when GOD decides through CHRIST JESUS; on that day Joyce, I shall be with Him and also be near you again.
For just as you did, one day I’ll leave our earthly home but I’ll never leave you or Him...
Remembering you through every second of every day.
With LOVE, from your STM & devoted Grimm – today 5 months, Amen.

“IT WORKS FOR ME!”

“IT WORKS FOR ME!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izYjezTdTuY

After my Good Wife Joyce went Home, you will hear me say that now I live with, JESUS CHRIST, myself and lastly my 2 puppy dogs.

As having JESUS CHRIST as one’s Roommate is not just an abstract thought for me. For you try to get along with the LORD as one would with any Roommate.
Just by doing the following;

I approach my Roommate about my concerns and gripes in a calm, tactful manner; I don't let tensions build to the point of my boiling temper.

I respect my Roommate's privacy and opinions. Also I try to compromise on sensitive issues.

We both work together through prayer and as I love my Roommates life style, I try to emulate Him as best as I can. He understands though that I may fall short of His perfection. As I know that He will always understand, as we have established in our set of household rules.

Both myself and my Roommate use GOD's biblical word as our roommate agreement. As it outlines our shared responsibilities and spells out methods of resolving any & all disagreements.

I refrain from complaints on others etc. and bring to my Roommate all of my complaints and wants for through Him they all go to our Landlord; Father GOD. This is done in order to maintain good Landlord-Tenant relations and at the same time live in Peace with my new Roommate. As it also helps me from falling short in my Roommates eyes;
As; “IT REALLY WORKS FOR ME!”
Amen.

By,

Richard Abbenbroek

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tre-24uxVK8
P.S. To My Wife Joyce, I am Waiting for you, Listening for you, Watching for you, Wishing for you and one day in the future, when GOD decides through CHRIST JESUS that on that day Joyce, I shall be with Him and also be near you again.
For just as you did, I will one day leave our earthly home but never you or Him... 
Written by your STM & Devoted Grimm.