BY
SKYE SPENCE
Saturday, May 27, 2017
BEST GRANDMA
BY
SKYE SPENCE
Monday, May 22, 2017
TRIBUTE WEEK FOR MY WIFE JOYCE PASSING - 3 YEARS AGO MAY 27TH 2014
They say that behind every man there’s a Great Woman! In my life this is so true, as what I became would never have happened without Joyce. Sure, many other dynamics and people came into my life to make me who I am today…
Though Without Joyce:
“The Fires of Hell” could well be licking at your toes, she always reminded me. Joyce was my center as I started my quest to find the Comfort and Love that is JESUS CHRIST.
Without Joyce:
I would never have learned how to make pictures of a rabbit and tank on a Dot Matrix Machine and work with computers. She gave me the courage to go to night school, so I could make it into the Information Technology Department at the Calgary Public Library.
Without Joyce:
I wouldn’t have been able to take that little bit of computer knowledge and use it to help build a Computer Lab at the High School in KwaZulu-Natal Province, Bhekulwandle South Africa.
Without Joyce:
I would never have had the ability to make nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, through Child Find Alberta and Team Hope the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. Volunteer with my late Wife Joyce at Inn from the Cold, learning from her how to help those so in need.
Without Joyce:
I could never have gone to the Gulf of Mexico and assist in the recovery of 70 Hurricane Katrina ravaged homes in Mississippi & Louisiana. Or become & Rapid Response Chaplin at Samaritan's Purse Canada without Joyce and GOD.
Without Joyce:
I also Volunteered on 2 Parent Sponsoring Committees of Royal Canadian Air Cadet Squadrons - 781 Squadron and 538 Squadron. Proudly watching my Step Son make it to Sargent and Granddaughter make it to Warrant Officer in rank. Or be there for when my youngest daughter needed a real Mom or when my eldest daughters water broke as I was there for her eldest daughter for the same.
Without Joyce:
I would never have had the simple joy of having a Family, Grandchildren and puppy dogs. She was My Best Friend, she loved me like No Other Human being and taught me to share this Love with many who needed it and even those who may not have deserved it. Which is something good, that GOD taught both Joyce and me.
But with Joyce:
I had Twenty-Eight years together 1986 – 2014 May 27th; that have gone by in a blink of an eye. We traveled life’s road and have been there and done that, made it through moments of pee your pants giggles, struggle and strife. Yet my life on this earth was made better With Joyce and yet I must live another day and night alone.
Without Joyce:
Written by her Stud Muffin and Husband Sir Richard... http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/
Photo of Joyce: by Sir Richard
Paul Brandt Video Condolence Message to Richard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIHcqNeXoDo
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0kcsbA9P34
Paul Brandt - When you call my name
“The Fires of Hell” could well be licking at your toes, she always reminded me. Joyce was my center as I started my quest to find the Comfort and Love that is JESUS CHRIST.
Without Joyce:
I would never have learned how to make pictures of a rabbit and tank on a Dot Matrix Machine and work with computers. She gave me the courage to go to night school, so I could make it into the Information Technology Department at the Calgary Public Library.
Without Joyce:
I wouldn’t have been able to take that little bit of computer knowledge and use it to help build a Computer Lab at the High School in KwaZulu-Natal Province, Bhekulwandle South Africa.
Without Joyce:
I would never have had the ability to make nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, through Child Find Alberta and Team Hope the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. Volunteer with my late Wife Joyce at Inn from the Cold, learning from her how to help those so in need.
Without Joyce:
I could never have gone to the Gulf of Mexico and assist in the recovery of 70 Hurricane Katrina ravaged homes in Mississippi & Louisiana. Or become & Rapid Response Chaplin at Samaritan's Purse Canada without Joyce and GOD.
Without Joyce:
I also Volunteered on 2 Parent Sponsoring Committees of Royal Canadian Air Cadet Squadrons - 781 Squadron and 538 Squadron. Proudly watching my Step Son make it to Sargent and Granddaughter make it to Warrant Officer in rank. Or be there for when my youngest daughter needed a real Mom or when my eldest daughters water broke as I was there for her eldest daughter for the same.
Without Joyce:
I would never have had the simple joy of having a Family, Grandchildren and puppy dogs. She was My Best Friend, she loved me like No Other Human being and taught me to share this Love with many who needed it and even those who may not have deserved it. Which is something good, that GOD taught both Joyce and me.
But with Joyce:
I had Twenty-Eight years together 1986 – 2014 May 27th; that have gone by in a blink of an eye. We traveled life’s road and have been there and done that, made it through moments of pee your pants giggles, struggle and strife. Yet my life on this earth was made better With Joyce and yet I must live another day and night alone.
Without Joyce:
Written by her Stud Muffin and Husband Sir Richard... http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/
Photo of Joyce: by Sir Richard
Paul Brandt Video Condolence Message to Richard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIHcqNeXoDo
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0kcsbA9P34
Paul Brandt - When you call my name
Saturday, May 20, 2017
UNDERSTAND MY FIRST STEPS AS A VOLUNTEER FOR MISSING CHILDREN
UNDERSTAND MY FIRST
STEPS AS A VOLUNTEER FOR MISSING CHILDREN
1989 – So a friend of mine told the abductor of my Daughter told:
“Listen, and understand, because you abducted Richard’s youngest
daughter. That he is mad as hell and what has surprised us all, he has acted
really fast hunting for you out here! One thing for sure is; he can't be
bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. For what you did he doesn't feel
pity, or remorse, or fear and he will absolutely not stop, ever, until he
recovers his child. Then he will do whatever it takes to try & see that
you’re locked up behind bars for a very long, long time!” So, you better return
her and or make peace cause I am just saying…
Here I am again, alone another memory date and as always, it’s hard to decide where I should start and at the same time very easy for it’s all there. All the memories - pain, fear, stress etc. - are just a recalled flashback away!
My story started simply enough: a failing marriage with a spouse who threatened to leave at any moment and with the spoken and unspoken threat of, “when I leave you will also never see your daughter again!”
Boom! It happened and as I was too close to realize it, or I did not want to believe, for I was taken by surprise!
I shall not go into the reasons or the mental avalanche that I went through. It was hard 28 years ago, for as a male I was told by one Police Officer; “To be happy, that since the old lady and kid were gone, why I don’t go have a beer?”
At the
same time I am a male and the stigma of my gender and at that time, people
thought I must have done something wrong to bring this about. Hey, you’re a
male, just for that alone, you probably deserve it!
The fact is that I did not deserve it and no one, female or male deserves it, ever!!
My main concern was for my child because the person who had her in my opinion was mentally ill and a drunk and safety of my daughter was paramount. This person did not take and deny me my daughter because she wanted exclusivity. She took her to extract some sort of warped infliction of pain on me. The proof of this is that in the 28 years plus since I got my child back, she has never tried once to see our daughter. Not that you cannot find me either, as I am not that hard to find or that she was denied visitation, just unsupervised visitation.
For the parents like me who have lived through this hell, they know what I am talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family if you like), that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss of your own child. Imagine that your own flesh and blood child taken due to whatever horror that one can come up with.
After my youngest daughter was returned to me I wanted to repay those who helped me, through all of this!
Eric Sommerfeldt at Child Find Alberta listened to all my rants, frustrations and pain; he did so with Great Patience during all hours, many days and through many tears.
Even through hard work and a steep learning curve for myself, in a system that at that time had all the odds stacked against me.
I was blessed with the return of my youngest daughter.
Mostly I had help through prayer, my co-workers, family, friends, lawyers, judges, even police and many people who I would never have met if not for this tragedy.
For back then, I had made 2 promises to the GOD, that if my prayers were answered and my daughter was returned to me safe and sound, then I would make sure that no one I ever came across would have to go through this horror the hard way, like I did. Promise 2, is that I would also become a follower of Jesus Christ.
From 1989 to 1991, I helped out with finger printing other people’s kids for Child Find Alberta. That was nice and my youngest daughter had fun helping out as well. It was not really what I wanted to do though and it did not fill the parameters of my self – made promise.
I nagged and nagged the Child Find Alberta Office and In 1991 I became a card carrying volunteer of Child Find Alberta.
I was trained by Dave Credland to be a volunteer Case Manager for parents of all missing children. I am on call 24 hours a day and seven days a week, for Alberta, British Columbia, N.W.T.'s and the Yukon.
At the time I assisted parents in exploring their options to locate their children. Giving them emotional support while and taking their information for Child Find Alberta, for essentially I am just a good listener.
Though I am not a trained social worker/psychiatrist or lawyer, what I do let them know is that I am a parent. Who like them, has already gone through the same fog of despair of a missing child. I give them my hand and together, we walk as far as we can.
After I gathered the necessary information I send it to the full time week day Staff and Investigative Unit via whatever means possible. From that point the full time week day, Case Managers then set up appointments and started the process to hopefully recover the Missing Child.
Since then, I have taken 300 plus calls all hours of the day and night and in some of the strangest places.
Once, I was out of town and on a power pole assisting in the installation of a new power line to my family’s new garage. I was passed up a cell phone by my sister with a distressed parent of a Missing Child on the other end. I relied on my memory of the conversation to write my report. At that time of Child Find Alberta’s operations, I was afraid that I would lose the call, if I moved or hung up for a moment. So I stayed on my power pole and the bonus was that I also had a great view of the Rockies!
One of my scariest calls and we all have one, is a call that I received at 3 AM from a young man who informed me that he had run away from out of province and he had just arrived in Calgary. He went on to inform me that he was getting no help from anyone even though he was a reported “runaway”. The Police and drop in centres would not help him and I was his last resort!
With help from my late wife I was able to contact the Calgary City Police Services and they were going to send a car around to this young man.
He threatened suicide if I did not come down to where he was and help him out. I explained that I could not come down to where he was and that the Police would soon be there to help him out. Then he abruptly said well, “That’s it!” “Thanks for nothing!” “My death will be on your hands” and he hung up.
We both (my wife and I), sat there in the dark enveloped in the chilling silence and just did not know what to do.
The Police dispatch said that a car was to be dispatched but how long would that take and was this young man still at that location??
Both my wife and I just stared at each other and I was torn about going to him or not but that was not in my training, as I had done all that I could do.
I did not sleep much that night and the next day I was informed by Dave Credland that when the Police arrived at that young man’s location.
That there was not just one young person there, like we thought but also several others. Who, if I ignored my training and went to personally assist him, they would have promptly mugged and robbed me for my efforts. This young man not only was a runaway from out of province but one with a long list of outstanding violent arrest warrants to his credit.
These are again just two of my bizarre stories that we, who do this kind of volunteer work sometimes come across.
Through all of these calls and experiences I was lucky enough to keep my promises.
Which again was to make sure that no-one whom I ever came across, would have to go through this horror the hard way, alone like I once did.
I then had the honour in March 2003 to be chosen to attend training and become a member of an organization called Team H.O.P.E. (Help Offering Parents Empowerment) for 10 years (2003-2013) I was a volunteer for the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment). Since then combined with Child Find Alberta work I made nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, again starting with Child Find Alberta and then through Team Hope of the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. The NCMEC is the U.S.-based centre that was co-founded by Patti Wetterling, Abby Potash and John Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.
The fact is that I did not deserve it and no one, female or male deserves it, ever!!
My main concern was for my child because the person who had her in my opinion was mentally ill and a drunk and safety of my daughter was paramount. This person did not take and deny me my daughter because she wanted exclusivity. She took her to extract some sort of warped infliction of pain on me. The proof of this is that in the 28 years plus since I got my child back, she has never tried once to see our daughter. Not that you cannot find me either, as I am not that hard to find or that she was denied visitation, just unsupervised visitation.
For the parents like me who have lived through this hell, they know what I am talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family if you like), that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss of your own child. Imagine that your own flesh and blood child taken due to whatever horror that one can come up with.
After my youngest daughter was returned to me I wanted to repay those who helped me, through all of this!
Eric Sommerfeldt at Child Find Alberta listened to all my rants, frustrations and pain; he did so with Great Patience during all hours, many days and through many tears.
Even through hard work and a steep learning curve for myself, in a system that at that time had all the odds stacked against me.
I was blessed with the return of my youngest daughter.
Mostly I had help through prayer, my co-workers, family, friends, lawyers, judges, even police and many people who I would never have met if not for this tragedy.
For back then, I had made 2 promises to the GOD, that if my prayers were answered and my daughter was returned to me safe and sound, then I would make sure that no one I ever came across would have to go through this horror the hard way, like I did. Promise 2, is that I would also become a follower of Jesus Christ.
From 1989 to 1991, I helped out with finger printing other people’s kids for Child Find Alberta. That was nice and my youngest daughter had fun helping out as well. It was not really what I wanted to do though and it did not fill the parameters of my self – made promise.
I nagged and nagged the Child Find Alberta Office and In 1991 I became a card carrying volunteer of Child Find Alberta.
I was trained by Dave Credland to be a volunteer Case Manager for parents of all missing children. I am on call 24 hours a day and seven days a week, for Alberta, British Columbia, N.W.T.'s and the Yukon.
At the time I assisted parents in exploring their options to locate their children. Giving them emotional support while and taking their information for Child Find Alberta, for essentially I am just a good listener.
Though I am not a trained social worker/psychiatrist or lawyer, what I do let them know is that I am a parent. Who like them, has already gone through the same fog of despair of a missing child. I give them my hand and together, we walk as far as we can.
After I gathered the necessary information I send it to the full time week day Staff and Investigative Unit via whatever means possible. From that point the full time week day, Case Managers then set up appointments and started the process to hopefully recover the Missing Child.
Since then, I have taken 300 plus calls all hours of the day and night and in some of the strangest places.
Once, I was out of town and on a power pole assisting in the installation of a new power line to my family’s new garage. I was passed up a cell phone by my sister with a distressed parent of a Missing Child on the other end. I relied on my memory of the conversation to write my report. At that time of Child Find Alberta’s operations, I was afraid that I would lose the call, if I moved or hung up for a moment. So I stayed on my power pole and the bonus was that I also had a great view of the Rockies!
One of my scariest calls and we all have one, is a call that I received at 3 AM from a young man who informed me that he had run away from out of province and he had just arrived in Calgary. He went on to inform me that he was getting no help from anyone even though he was a reported “runaway”. The Police and drop in centres would not help him and I was his last resort!
With help from my late wife I was able to contact the Calgary City Police Services and they were going to send a car around to this young man.
He threatened suicide if I did not come down to where he was and help him out. I explained that I could not come down to where he was and that the Police would soon be there to help him out. Then he abruptly said well, “That’s it!” “Thanks for nothing!” “My death will be on your hands” and he hung up.
We both (my wife and I), sat there in the dark enveloped in the chilling silence and just did not know what to do.
The Police dispatch said that a car was to be dispatched but how long would that take and was this young man still at that location??
Both my wife and I just stared at each other and I was torn about going to him or not but that was not in my training, as I had done all that I could do.
I did not sleep much that night and the next day I was informed by Dave Credland that when the Police arrived at that young man’s location.
That there was not just one young person there, like we thought but also several others. Who, if I ignored my training and went to personally assist him, they would have promptly mugged and robbed me for my efforts. This young man not only was a runaway from out of province but one with a long list of outstanding violent arrest warrants to his credit.
These are again just two of my bizarre stories that we, who do this kind of volunteer work sometimes come across.
Through all of these calls and experiences I was lucky enough to keep my promises.
Which again was to make sure that no-one whom I ever came across, would have to go through this horror the hard way, alone like I once did.
I then had the honour in March 2003 to be chosen to attend training and become a member of an organization called Team H.O.P.E. (Help Offering Parents Empowerment) for 10 years (2003-2013) I was a volunteer for the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment). Since then combined with Child Find Alberta work I made nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, again starting with Child Find Alberta and then through Team Hope of the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. The NCMEC is the U.S.-based centre that was co-founded by Patti Wetterling, Abby Potash and John Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.
I took
all calls related to Missing Children, North America & International. I was
able to handle these through the extensive training that I received. Also I was
proudly part of the team called the “Grief Busters”, which is Team H.O.P.E.’s
most western group of volunteers.
From which, I have brought these new skills to Child Find Alberta and I use them regularly. For I now have more knowledge to offer and I am making great headway to keeping my self-made promise. For my promise continues and will probably continue till I do not.
Also in 2004, I became a Christian at Centre Street Church, to keep my second part of my 2 promises. From here at Centre Street I again volunteered I was able to take the little bit of computer knowledge and use it to help build a Computer Lab at the High School in KwaZulu-Natal Province, Bhekulwandle South Africa. Through Samaritan’s Purse Canada, I went to the Gulf of Mexico (Mississippi & Louisiana) and I assisted in the recovery of 70 Hurricane Katrina ravaged homes. I am very proud of all this and I am also in awe at how far I have come since I was the very distraught parent of Missing Child 28 plus years ago.
From which, I have brought these new skills to Child Find Alberta and I use them regularly. For I now have more knowledge to offer and I am making great headway to keeping my self-made promise. For my promise continues and will probably continue till I do not.
Also in 2004, I became a Christian at Centre Street Church, to keep my second part of my 2 promises. From here at Centre Street I again volunteered I was able to take the little bit of computer knowledge and use it to help build a Computer Lab at the High School in KwaZulu-Natal Province, Bhekulwandle South Africa. Through Samaritan’s Purse Canada, I went to the Gulf of Mexico (Mississippi & Louisiana) and I assisted in the recovery of 70 Hurricane Katrina ravaged homes. I am very proud of all this and I am also in awe at how far I have come since I was the very distraught parent of Missing Child 28 plus years ago.
Posted by
Sir Richard…
P.S. The abductor has not tried to visit still 28 years to date.
THE SMILE - MY CHILD ABDUCTED
THE SMILE
MY CHILD ABDUCTED
May 30TH, 1989 - MAY 30 2017
28 YEARS LATER https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuDv2hL41Yk
For I forget NOT and the nightmares returned no more.
Now 28 years after my youngest daughter was Abducted on May 30TH 1989 and Recovered August 10TH 1989.
As it’s hard to decide where I should start and at the same time, it is very easy for it’s all there.
All the memories, the pain, the fear, the stress, are just a simple recall of a flashback away.
The moment from a long time ago, on the day when my world was really turned upside down and my child abducted.
In hindsight, it all was because of nothing more than another person’s whim, of control over me. So, they could say, look at what I can do to you and you cannot stop me!
I REMEMBER AS SEEN THROUGH THESE 2 TV NEWS CLIPS:
#1= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2LVaDCvTuo
#2= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L133WaT4Eck
Even though it is now long ago, during a time when my dreams become reality and my new reality, would seem to become dreams.
To this day I am actually still deep inside haunted, as it used to play back in my dreams, this haunting was from nothing less, than a person’s smile.
A smile from the last time that I saw this Parental Child Abductor 27 years ago, as she walked out of Court.
Walking past me that smile which said; “I am free unpunished and I am feeling all powerful, as my twisted mission for you is accomplished.
For you cannot stop me and just wait and see what I will do to you next” ...
And so it was on every night or every other night long ago, this smile used to come back into my thoughts, via my dreams as pure night terrors.
MAN PLEADED FOR DAUGHTER’S SAFE RETURN!
Published: Saturday January 7TH, 2006 in the Edmonton Journal & Calgary Herald Newspapers.
May 30TH, 1989
Racked by fear and sick with grief over his missing child, Richard Abbenbroek made a pact with God: If he got youngest daughter back safely, he would then after become a Christian and find a way to help other parents going through this same hell.
As of 2017 it's been 28 years since he got down and prayed for the return of his daughter, who is now 32. Richard has kept his word -- he attends Centre Street Church in Calgary, he was a Case Manager volunteer for Child Find Alberta from 1991 and for 10 years (2003-2013) Volunteered for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment). Since then Richard had combined with Child Find Alberta work made nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, again starting with Child Find Alberta and then through Team Hope of the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. The NCMEC is the U.S.-based center that was co-founded by Patty Wetterling, Abby Potash and John Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.
Richard wanted to make sure no one "would have to go through the horror the hard way, like I did," after his former wife left their Calgary home, taking his youngest daughter with her.
He had been with his youngest daughter’s bio-mother for five years when she became pregnant. They married a year after youngest daughter was born. Until then, their relationship seemed happy and normal, he says.
Then his ex-wife became severely depressed and started drinking. His happy relationship crumbled. She constantly threatened to leave, saying: "When I leave, you will also never see your daughter again!"
On May 30TH, 1989, Richard arrived home to find clothes, bedding, food, and other odd items missing. Richard’s wife and child were gone. Richard felt the whole house closing in on him.
Trying to explain his feelings at this point, he says, “I just sat in the kitchen and cried for myself and my youngest daughter and the whole lost family thing. How could I explain this to anyone? Where have they gone? Is this the end of their relationship? As I sat, tears fell like rain, sobs loud, my head hurt. I couldn’t think; I only could cry.
I felt so ashamed, not for any-thing I did, but more for what I could not prevent.”
He searched the house frantically for a note or some clue as to where they may have gone — nothing. Richard’s wife had even taken the phone books, which listed the numbers of friends and family. Once the initial shock had worn off, Richard was able to recall a few of the numbers from memory. He discovered through mutual friends that his wife and his youngest daughter were still in Calgary but were staying with relatives.
Knowing it wouldn’t do any good to try to convince his soon to be ex-wife to come home, and not wanting to cause further harm to the child; Richard applied for and received an interim custody order for his youngest daughter. He was devastated to learn that his wife had then, taken the child to British Columbia. This rendered this order useless, for now Richard’s wife must first be served before the order could be in effect.
How do you serve someone you can’t find? The relatives were un-cooperative when Richard inquired as to his wife’s whereabouts. He feared she would soon go to the United States, making his search even more difficult. He had to act fast. Child Find B.C. helped him file an interim custody order with the Supreme Court of British Columbia.
Doing much of the legwork himself, Richard constantly badgered the Calgary Police or any Police, RCMP, county sheriffs and lawyers. The stress was so great; his weight plunged from 108.862 Kilograms to 68.0389 Kilograms. It was at that point he made his pact with GOD.
Richard said he was appalled at the lack of aid and information available to parents in abduction cases. Many of the agencies he dealt with were less than helpful; some were totally unresponsive. One police officer even told him with a straight face that he should be happy. "Since the old lady and kid were gone, why not go have a beer?"
His case was further complicated because he was a father looking for his daughter while battling a common at that time and even now a misguided perception that children are better off with their mother.
To get the system to act, Richard was forced to get police to lay child-abduction charges against his wife. Even this charge was difficult to enforce Canada-wide. It required an order be filed with the BC Supreme Court to make all law enforcement agencies act on the warrant for his wife’s arrest.
Legal technicalities and financial difficulties and a supervisor who hid from Richard that his 4 weeks of vacation for that year were gone (they were not but he sure could have used them), hindered Richard’s search. His wife had left him thousands of dollars in debt with no funds, no credit, and bills to be paid, Richard was left with virtually no money to use to locate his youngest daughter.
On Aug. 10TH, 1989, 72 days after she disappeared with youngest daughter, Richard's wife was tracked down and arrested. She was charged with parental child abduction, but never showed up in court.
Richard obtained a divorce the following June 1990, along with full custody of youngest daughter.
Even though he had his daughter back, Richard said he lived in fear for years afterwards, always looking over his shoulder in case someone again tried to take youngest daughter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fimDg7bvrsk
Even if a parent is lucky enough to be reunited with a missing child, life is never the same for the family. They must start over, undergo counseling and live with the fear the child could be abducted again.
Richard says after he was granted full custody of his youngest daughter, he thought he noticed people watching his house and the Day Care his daughter attended. He worried constantly that his ex-wife would exact revenge by taking his daughter again. This is after his youngest daughter told him that mommy said she was going to steal her back from Daddy again one day!
Richard’s Quote; "For the parents like myself who have lived through this hell, they know what I am talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family really), that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss of your own child!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gvl0KyGdXA
THE SMILE
Written and posted by Sir Richard… http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/
MY CHILD ABDUCTED
May 30TH, 1989 - MAY 30 2017
28 YEARS LATER https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuDv2hL41Yk
For I forget NOT and the nightmares returned no more.
Now 28 years after my youngest daughter was Abducted on May 30TH 1989 and Recovered August 10TH 1989.
As it’s hard to decide where I should start and at the same time, it is very easy for it’s all there.
All the memories, the pain, the fear, the stress, are just a simple recall of a flashback away.
The moment from a long time ago, on the day when my world was really turned upside down and my child abducted.
In hindsight, it all was because of nothing more than another person’s whim, of control over me. So, they could say, look at what I can do to you and you cannot stop me!
I REMEMBER AS SEEN THROUGH THESE 2 TV NEWS CLIPS:
#1= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2LVaDCvTuo
#2= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L133WaT4Eck
Even though it is now long ago, during a time when my dreams become reality and my new reality, would seem to become dreams.
To this day I am actually still deep inside haunted, as it used to play back in my dreams, this haunting was from nothing less, than a person’s smile.
A smile from the last time that I saw this Parental Child Abductor 27 years ago, as she walked out of Court.
Walking past me that smile which said; “I am free unpunished and I am feeling all powerful, as my twisted mission for you is accomplished.
For you cannot stop me and just wait and see what I will do to you next” ...
And so it was on every night or every other night long ago, this smile used to come back into my thoughts, via my dreams as pure night terrors.
MAN PLEADED FOR DAUGHTER’S SAFE RETURN!
Published: Saturday January 7TH, 2006 in the Edmonton Journal & Calgary Herald Newspapers.
May 30TH, 1989
Racked by fear and sick with grief over his missing child, Richard Abbenbroek made a pact with God: If he got youngest daughter back safely, he would then after become a Christian and find a way to help other parents going through this same hell.
As of 2017 it's been 28 years since he got down and prayed for the return of his daughter, who is now 32. Richard has kept his word -- he attends Centre Street Church in Calgary, he was a Case Manager volunteer for Child Find Alberta from 1991 and for 10 years (2003-2013) Volunteered for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment). Since then Richard had combined with Child Find Alberta work made nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, again starting with Child Find Alberta and then through Team Hope of the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. The NCMEC is the U.S.-based center that was co-founded by Patty Wetterling, Abby Potash and John Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.
Richard wanted to make sure no one "would have to go through the horror the hard way, like I did," after his former wife left their Calgary home, taking his youngest daughter with her.
He had been with his youngest daughter’s bio-mother for five years when she became pregnant. They married a year after youngest daughter was born. Until then, their relationship seemed happy and normal, he says.
Then his ex-wife became severely depressed and started drinking. His happy relationship crumbled. She constantly threatened to leave, saying: "When I leave, you will also never see your daughter again!"
On May 30TH, 1989, Richard arrived home to find clothes, bedding, food, and other odd items missing. Richard’s wife and child were gone. Richard felt the whole house closing in on him.
Trying to explain his feelings at this point, he says, “I just sat in the kitchen and cried for myself and my youngest daughter and the whole lost family thing. How could I explain this to anyone? Where have they gone? Is this the end of their relationship? As I sat, tears fell like rain, sobs loud, my head hurt. I couldn’t think; I only could cry.
I felt so ashamed, not for any-thing I did, but more for what I could not prevent.”
He searched the house frantically for a note or some clue as to where they may have gone — nothing. Richard’s wife had even taken the phone books, which listed the numbers of friends and family. Once the initial shock had worn off, Richard was able to recall a few of the numbers from memory. He discovered through mutual friends that his wife and his youngest daughter were still in Calgary but were staying with relatives.
Knowing it wouldn’t do any good to try to convince his soon to be ex-wife to come home, and not wanting to cause further harm to the child; Richard applied for and received an interim custody order for his youngest daughter. He was devastated to learn that his wife had then, taken the child to British Columbia. This rendered this order useless, for now Richard’s wife must first be served before the order could be in effect.
How do you serve someone you can’t find? The relatives were un-cooperative when Richard inquired as to his wife’s whereabouts. He feared she would soon go to the United States, making his search even more difficult. He had to act fast. Child Find B.C. helped him file an interim custody order with the Supreme Court of British Columbia.
Doing much of the legwork himself, Richard constantly badgered the Calgary Police or any Police, RCMP, county sheriffs and lawyers. The stress was so great; his weight plunged from 108.862 Kilograms to 68.0389 Kilograms. It was at that point he made his pact with GOD.
Richard said he was appalled at the lack of aid and information available to parents in abduction cases. Many of the agencies he dealt with were less than helpful; some were totally unresponsive. One police officer even told him with a straight face that he should be happy. "Since the old lady and kid were gone, why not go have a beer?"
His case was further complicated because he was a father looking for his daughter while battling a common at that time and even now a misguided perception that children are better off with their mother.
To get the system to act, Richard was forced to get police to lay child-abduction charges against his wife. Even this charge was difficult to enforce Canada-wide. It required an order be filed with the BC Supreme Court to make all law enforcement agencies act on the warrant for his wife’s arrest.
Legal technicalities and financial difficulties and a supervisor who hid from Richard that his 4 weeks of vacation for that year were gone (they were not but he sure could have used them), hindered Richard’s search. His wife had left him thousands of dollars in debt with no funds, no credit, and bills to be paid, Richard was left with virtually no money to use to locate his youngest daughter.
On Aug. 10TH, 1989, 72 days after she disappeared with youngest daughter, Richard's wife was tracked down and arrested. She was charged with parental child abduction, but never showed up in court.
Richard obtained a divorce the following June 1990, along with full custody of youngest daughter.
Even though he had his daughter back, Richard said he lived in fear for years afterwards, always looking over his shoulder in case someone again tried to take youngest daughter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fimDg7bvrsk
Even if a parent is lucky enough to be reunited with a missing child, life is never the same for the family. They must start over, undergo counseling and live with the fear the child could be abducted again.
Richard says after he was granted full custody of his youngest daughter, he thought he noticed people watching his house and the Day Care his daughter attended. He worried constantly that his ex-wife would exact revenge by taking his daughter again. This is after his youngest daughter told him that mommy said she was going to steal her back from Daddy again one day!
Richard’s Quote; "For the parents like myself who have lived through this hell, they know what I am talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family really), that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss of your own child!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gvl0KyGdXA
THE SMILE
Written and posted by Sir Richard… http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/
MAN PLEADED FOR DAUGHTERS SAFE RETURN 28 YEARS AGO!
28 YEARS AGO!
Thank you all for remembering this Day as it is so weird, 28 years ago seems like only yesterday. For I would have gone like most parents gone to then ends of the earth to get my child back! What a day this was, a new beginning of Jessica’s and my new norm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIYolYfOhIM
Sir Richard…
MAN PLEADED FOR DAUGHTER’S SAFE RETURN!
Published: Saturday January 07, 2006 in the the Edmonton Journal & Calgary Herald Newspapers.Edmonton/Calgary -- Racked by fear and sick with grief over his missing child, Richard Abbenbroek made a pact with God: If he got Jessica back safely, he would become a Christian and find a way to help other parents going through the same hell.
It's been 28 years since he got down and prayed for the return of his daughter, who is now 32. Richard has kept his word -- he attends Centre Street Church in Calgary, he was a Case Manager volunteer for Child Find Alberta and is currently a Volunteer of the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment). The NCMEC is the U.S.-based centre that was co-founded by John Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.
Richard wanted to make sure no one "would have to go through the horror the hard way, like I did," after his former wife left their Calgary home, taking his daughter and step-son with her.
He had been with Jessica's mother and her young son for five years when she became pregnant. They married a year after Jessica was born. Until then, their relationship seemed happy and normal, he says.
Then his wife became severely depressed and started drinking. His happy relationship crumbled. She constantly threatened to leave, saying: "When I leave, you will also never see your daughter again!"
On May 30, 1989, Richard arrived home to find clothes, bedding, food, and other odd items missing. Richard’s wife and the kids were gone. Richard felt the whole house closing in on him.
Trying to explain his feelings at this point, he says, “I just sat in the kitchen and cried for myself and the kids, and the family. How could I explain this? Where have they gone? Is this the end of the relationship? As I sat, tears fell like rain, sobs loud, my head hurt. I couldn’t think; I only could cry. . .
I feel so ashamed. Not for any-thing I did, but more for what I could not prevent.”
He searched the house frantically for a note or some clue as to where they may have gone — nothing. Richard’s wife had even taken the phone books, which listed the numbers of friends and family. Once the initial shock had worn off, Richard was able to recall a few of the numbers from memory. He discovered through mutual friends that his wife and the kids were still in Calgary but were staying with relatives.
Knowing it wouldn’t do any good to try to convince her to come home, and not wanting to cause further harm to the children, Richard applied for and received an interim custody order for Jessica. He was devastated to learn that his wife had then, taken the children to British Columbia. This rendered the order useless. Richard’s wife must first be served before the order could be in effect.
How do you serve someone you can’t find? The relatives were un-cooperative when Richard inquired as to his wife’s whereabouts. He feared she would go to the United States, making his search even more difficult. He had to act fast. Child Find B.C. helped him file an interim custody order with the Supreme Court of British Columbia.
Doing much of the legwork himself, Richard constantly badgered the Calgary Police or any Police, RCMP, county sheriffs and lawyers. The stress was so great, his weight plunged from 240lbs to 150lbs. It was at that point he made his pact with GOD.
Richard said he was appalled at the lack of aid and information available to parents in abduction cases. Many of the agencies he dealt with were less than helpful; some were totally unresponsive. One police officer even told him with a straight face that he should be happy. "Since the old lady and kid were gone, why not go have a beer?"
His case was further complicated because he was a father looking for his daughter while battling a common -- and sometimes misguided -- perception that children are better off with their mother.
To get the system to take action, Richard was forced to get police to lay child-abduction charges against his wife. Even this charge was difficult to enforce Canada-wide. It required an order be filed with the BC Supreme Court to make all law enforcement agencies act on the warrant for his wife’s arrest.
Legal technicalities and financial difficulties hindered Richard’s search. His wife had left him thousands of dollars in debt. With no funds, no credit, and bills to be paid, Richard was left with virtually no money to use to locate his daughter.
On Aug. 10, 1989, 72 days after she disappeared with Jessica, Richard's wife was tracked down and arrested. She was charged with parental child abduction, but never showed up in court.
Richard obtained a divorce the following June, along with full custody of Jessica. His step-son returned to his biological father.
Even though he had his daughter back, Richard said he lived in fear for years afterwards, always looking over his shoulder in case someone again tried to take Jessica.
Before the 1983 abduction of six-year-old Tania Murrell of Edmonton, there were no organizations in Canada that helped parents like Richard and other families of missing children. The forerunner to Child Find Alberta was established shortly after Murrell's disappearance. It wasn't until 1987 that the RCMP began keeping statistics on the country's missing children. That year, there were 57,233 reports of missing children. In 2004, there were 67,266 children reported missing in Canada.
The majority of missing children in Canada are runaways. Of the 67,266 missing-children reports in 2004, 52,280 were runaways and 76 per cent of those were habitual runners who generated a report each time they took off (thus inflating the numbers). The majority of these runaways were located within a week of leaving home.
The next highest number of missing-children reports in 2004 -- 11,373 -- fell into the unknown category. Another 671 young children wandered off, 27 were reported missing as the result of an accident such as drowning, 31 were kidnapped, 332 were abducted by parents and the remaining 2,552 went missing for "other" reasons.
Marlene Dalley, a researcher with the RCMP's National Missing Children Services based in Ottawa, says runaway children should be a societal concern because they are vulnerable on the streets.
"They become victims of pimps who are searching for girls to work in prostitution. Many of these children have been living on the streets for some time, and are involved in criminal activities and the drug trade," she says. "I must caution not all runaways are involved in prostitution and drugs, but the influence of the street life is very compelling.
The federal government spends about $700,000 a year on the RCMP's missing children's registry. The small group of RCMP and civilian staff work out of Ottawa collating information, and linking national and international law-enforcement and child-find groups.
The registry works closely with the Immigration, National Revenue and Foreign Affairs departments, but it does not actually search for missing children. That is left to the local police forces, parents and groups like Child Find and the Missing Children Society of Canada.
Calgarian Kathy Morgenstern and a small group of volunteers founded Canada's first non-profit missing children's organization, Alberta Friends of Child Find (later shortened to Child Find Alberta), about nine months after Tania Murrell disappeared. Today, there are more than 60 Child Find organizations across the country.
Since it was incorporated, Child Find Alberta volunteers have registered 883 families looking for 1,068 missing children, who include runaways and abductees. They have located or closed the files on 833 families involving 1,001 children. At the end of 2004, the agency was working on 50 files involving 67 missing children.
In addition to providing fingerprinting services, education and prevention awareness, the agency is responsible for the poster campaigns seen on the sides of trucks and in public places. Child Find Alberta distributes 4,500 posters for every missing child registered with its group. The organization depends entirely on corporate and public donations for its funding.
Another group, Missing Children Society of Canada was founded in 1986 in Calgary by a woman who was moved to take action after watching a television show profiling missing children. She volunteered with Child Find Alberta for two years before founding MCSC in 1986.
MCSC's mandate is slightly different from Child Find's, says spokeswoman Liz Ballendine.
"We actually have a team of investigators who travel around the country helping the police and searching families looking for missing children, whether that means doing interviews, helping in a ground search, taking a dive team to search a body of water, or working with embassies to get a child back."
(In 1989 Child Find Alberta also has investigators who search for missing children, but they do not travel across the country, or do so now.)
Although parents fear their child will be grabbed off the street by a stranger, such abductions are rare in Canada -- about three a year, according to RCMP statistics. Most times, the predator is known to the child as a relative, friend of the family or someone who lives in the neighborhood.
But it's the so-called stranger abductions that get media attention, because the child is almost always found sexually assaulted and murdered, which only heightens the public's hysteria, says Ballendine.
"As far as we are concerned, parental abductions are much more serious and problematic, partly because it's not always done in the best interest of the children. I know people think, 'Oh it's all right. They are with a parent. ...' Well, there have been cases where the abducting parent has killed their children or hurt them, so it is not always all right. And it certainly isn't all right for the other parent."
Abducted children often live like fugitives, and are taught not to trust anyone or talk about their past. Their appearances may be altered. Their names may be changed and they may be stripped of their true identity and roots. Their health may be medically neglected for fear of discovery. Their education may be unstable and they often have no friends because of frequent moves. Some are lied to by the abducting parent, who poisons them against the left-behind parent.
"We need the general public to realize it is not OK for one parent to take a child and leave. When you try and reunite the children with the family or the other parent, they often have a slew of emotional and psychological problems," Ballendine says.
Even if a parent is lucky enough to be reunited with a missing child, life is never the same for the family. They must start over, undergo counseling and live with the fear the child could be abducted again.
Richard says after he was granted full custody of Jessica, he thought he noticed people watching his house and the day care Jessica attended. He worried constantly that his ex-wife would exact revenge by taking his daughter again. This is after she told Jessica that she was going to steal her back from Daddy.
A Sir Richard Quote; "For the parents like myself who have lived through this hell, they know what I am talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family) that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss of your own child!"
The above Newspapaer Article was Posted by Sir Richard
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/
Sunday, May 7, 2017
THE PROMISE OF SPRING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFWA9NPvyUE#t=12
Winter tarries much too long at four thousand feet above sea level.
Here in Calgary, spring comes late and fitfully. We had snow again last week on the last week of April and probably will have some yet in May too. I’ve come to accept that spring here is really a wrestling match between winter and summer, as it is called spring and makes for a long time of waiting.
You see in Calgary; the flowers are pretty much gone in September.
By the first of October, the aspens start turning gold and drop their leaves in a week or two, and come November, all is gray.
Initially, I don’t mind. The coming of winter has its joys, and there are Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to when Joyce was alive.
Though right after the New Year, things begin to drag on.
Through February and then March, the earth remains lifeless. The whole world lies shadowed in brown and gray tones, like an old photograph. Winter’s novelty is long past, and by April we are longing for some sign of life some color, some hope for this is just too long.
Then yesterday, I rounded the corner into our neighborhood, and suddenly, the world was green again. What had been rock and twig and dead mulch was a rich oriental carpet of green. I was shocked, stunned. How did it happen?
As if in disbelief, I got out of my car and began to walk through this clump of trees, touching every leaf. The birds are back as well, waking us in the morning with their glad songs, as I thought early yesterday it was my brakes squealing again. This all happened suddenly, in the twinkling of an eye.
My surprise is telling, as it seems natural to long for spring, it is another thing to be completely stunned by its return. I am truly and genuinely surprised, as if my reaction were, "Really, what are you doing here?"
Then I realized, I thought I’d never see spring again. I think in some deep place inside, I had accepted the fact that winter had become forever like my happiness and so, I am shocked by the return of spring.
So, I wonder, can the same thing happen for my soul? As with all the things that have happened to lately, I feel as if my eternal wintered soul, is longing for GOD’s promise of His spring. So, I must ask you my friends, what do you think about yours?
A Song to share: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFWA9NPvyUE#t=12
With Love From,
Sir Richard... http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.com/
With Love From,
Sir Richard... http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.com/
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