Saturday, May 20, 2017



May 30TH, 1989 - MAY 30 2017
For I forget NOT and the nightmares returned no more.
Now 28 years after my youngest daughter was Abducted on May 30TH 1989 and Recovered August 10TH 1989.
As it’s hard to decide where I should start and at the same time, it is very easy for it’s all there.
All the memories, the pain, the fear, the stress, are just a simple recall of a flashback away.

The moment from a long time ago, on the day when my world was really turned upside down and my child abducted.
In hindsight, it all was because of nothing more than another person’s whim, of control over me. So, they could say, look at what I can do to you and you cannot stop me!


Even though it is now long ago, during a time when my dreams become reality and my new reality, would seem to become dreams.

To this day I am actually still deep inside haunted, as it used to play back in my dreams, this haunting was from nothing less, than a person’s smile.
A smile from the last time that I saw this Parental Child Abductor 27 years ago, as she walked out of Court.

Walking past me that smile which said; “I am free unpunished and I am feeling all powerful, as my twisted mission for you is accomplished.
For you cannot stop me and just wait and see what I will do to you next” ...
And so it was on every night or every other night long ago, this smile used to come back into my thoughts, via my dreams as pure night terrors.

Published: Saturday January 7TH, 2006 in the Edmonton Journal & Calgary Herald Newspapers.
May 30TH, 1989
Racked by fear and sick with grief over his missing child, Richard Abbenbroek made a pact with God: If he got youngest daughter back safely, he would then after become a Christian and find a way to help other parents going through this same hell.

As of 2017 it's been 28 years since he got down and prayed for the return of his daughter, who is now 32. Richard has kept his word -- he attends Centre Street Church in Calgary, he was a Case Manager volunteer for Child Find Alberta from 1991 and for 10 years (2003-2013) Volunteered for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment). Since then Richard had combined with Child Find Alberta work made nightly calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing Children, again starting with Child Find Alberta and then through Team Hope of the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. The NCMEC is the U.S.-based center that was co-founded by Patty Wetterling, Abby Potash and John Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.

Richard wanted to make sure no one "would have to go through the horror the hard way, like I did," after his former wife left their Calgary home, taking his youngest daughter with her.
He had been with his youngest daughter’s bio-mother for five years when she became pregnant. They married a year after youngest daughter was born. Until then, their relationship seemed happy and normal, he says.
Then his ex-wife became severely depressed and started drinking. His happy relationship crumbled. She constantly threatened to leave, saying: "When I leave, you will also never see your daughter again!"

On May 30TH, 1989, Richard arrived home to find clothes, bedding, food, and other odd items missing. Richard’s wife and child were gone. Richard felt the whole house closing in on him.
Trying to explain his feelings at this point, he says, “I just sat in the kitchen and cried for myself and my youngest daughter and the whole lost family thing. How could I explain this to anyone? Where have they gone? Is this the end of their relationship? As I sat, tears fell like rain, sobs loud, my head hurt. I couldn’t think; I only could cry.
I felt so ashamed, not for any-thing I did, but more for what I could not prevent.”

He searched the house frantically for a note or some clue as to where they may have gone — nothing. Richard’s wife had even taken the phone books, which listed the numbers of friends and family. Once the initial shock had worn off, Richard was able to recall a few of the numbers from memory. He discovered through mutual friends that his wife and his youngest daughter were still in Calgary but were staying with relatives.

Knowing it wouldn’t do any good to try to convince his soon to be ex-wife to come home, and not wanting to cause further harm to the child; Richard applied for and received an interim custody order for his youngest daughter. He was devastated to learn that his wife had then, taken the child to British Columbia. This rendered this order useless, for now Richard’s wife must first be served before the order could be in effect.

How do you serve someone you can’t find? The relatives were un-cooperative when Richard inquired as to his wife’s whereabouts. He feared she would soon go to the United States, making his search even more difficult. He had to act fast. Child Find B.C. helped him file an interim custody order with the Supreme Court of British Columbia.

Doing much of the legwork himself, Richard constantly badgered the Calgary Police or any Police, RCMP, county sheriffs and lawyers. The stress was so great; his weight plunged from 108.862 Kilograms to 68.0389 Kilograms. It was at that point he made his pact with GOD.

Richard said he was appalled at the lack of aid and information available to parents in abduction cases. Many of the agencies he dealt with were less than helpful; some were totally unresponsive. One police officer even told him with a straight face that he should be happy. "Since the old lady and kid were gone, why not go have a beer?"
His case was further complicated because he was a father looking for his daughter while battling a common at that time and even now a misguided perception that children are better off with their mother.

To get the system to act, Richard was forced to get police to lay child-abduction charges against his wife. Even this charge was difficult to enforce Canada-wide. It required an order be filed with the BC Supreme Court to make all law enforcement agencies act on the warrant for his wife’s arrest.

Legal technicalities and financial difficulties and a supervisor who hid from Richard that his 4 weeks of vacation for that year were gone (they were not but he sure could have used them), hindered Richard’s search. His wife had left him thousands of dollars in debt with no funds, no credit, and bills to be paid, Richard was left with virtually no money to use to locate his youngest daughter.
On Aug. 10TH, 1989, 72 days after she disappeared with youngest daughter, Richard's wife was tracked down and arrested. She was charged with parental child abduction, but never showed up in court.

Richard obtained a divorce the following June 1990, along with full custody of youngest daughter.

Even though he had his daughter back, Richard said he lived in fear for years afterwards, always looking over his shoulder in case someone again tried to take youngest daughter.

Even if a parent is lucky enough to be reunited with a missing child, life is never the same for the family. They must start over, undergo counseling and live with the fear the child could be abducted again.

Richard says after he was granted full custody of his youngest daughter, he thought he noticed people watching his house and the Day Care his daughter attended. He worried constantly that his ex-wife would exact revenge by taking his daughter again. This is after his youngest daughter told him that mommy said she was going to steal her back from Daddy again one day!

Richard’s Quote; "For the parents like myself who have lived through this hell, they know what I am talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family really), that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss of your own child!"
Written and posted by Sir Richard…

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