UNDERSTAND MY FIRST
STEPS AS A VOLUNTEER FOR MISSING CHILDREN
1989 – So a friend of mine told the abductor of my Daughter told:
“Listen, and understand, because you abducted Richard’s youngest
daughter. That he is mad as hell and what has surprised us all, he has acted
really fast hunting for you out here! One thing for sure is; he can't be
bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. For what you did he doesn't feel
pity, or remorse, or fear and he will absolutely not stop, ever, until he
recovers his child. Then he will do whatever it takes to try & see that
you’re locked up behind bars for a very long, long time!” So, you better return
her and or make peace cause I am just saying…
Here I am again, alone another memory date and as always, it’s hard to
decide where I should start and at the same time very easy for it’s all there.
All the memories - pain, fear, stress etc. - are just a recalled flashback
away!
My story started simply enough: a failing marriage with a spouse who threatened
to leave at any moment and with the spoken and unspoken threat of, “when I
leave you will also never see your daughter again!”
Boom! It happened and as I was too close to realize it, or I did not want to
believe, for I was taken by surprise!
I shall not go into the reasons or the mental avalanche that I went through. It
was hard 28 years ago, for as a male I was told by one Police Officer; “To be
happy, that since the old lady and kid were gone, why I don’t go have a beer?”
At the
same time I am a male and the stigma of my gender and at that time, people
thought I must have done something wrong to bring this about. Hey, you’re a
male, just for that alone, you probably deserve it!
The fact is that I did not deserve it and no one, female or male deserves it,
ever!!
My main concern was for my child because the person who had her in my opinion
was mentally ill and a drunk and safety of my daughter was paramount. This
person did not take and deny me my daughter because she wanted exclusivity. She
took her to extract some sort of warped infliction of pain on me. The proof of
this is that in the 28 years plus since I got my child back, she has never
tried once to see our daughter. Not that you cannot find me either, as I am not
that hard to find or that she was denied visitation, just unsupervised
visitation.
For the parents like me who have lived through this hell, they know what I am
talking about. We are all members of an exclusive club (family if you like),
that has the highest entrance dues imaginable: the temporary or permanent loss
of your own child. Imagine that your own flesh and blood child taken due to
whatever horror that one can come up with.
After my youngest daughter was returned to me I wanted to repay those who
helped me, through all of this!
Eric Sommerfeldt at Child Find Alberta listened to all my rants, frustrations
and pain; he did so with Great Patience during all hours, many days and through
many tears.
Even through hard work and a steep learning curve for myself, in a system that
at that time had all the odds stacked against me.
I was blessed with the return of my youngest daughter.
Mostly I had help through prayer, my co-workers, family, friends, lawyers,
judges, even police and many people who I would never have met if not for this
tragedy.
For back then, I had made 2 promises to the GOD, that if my prayers were
answered and my daughter was returned to me safe and sound, then I would make
sure that no one I ever came across would have to go through this horror the
hard way, like I did. Promise 2, is that I would also become a follower of
Jesus Christ.
From 1989 to 1991, I helped out with finger printing other people’s kids for
Child Find Alberta. That was nice and my youngest daughter had fun helping out
as well. It was not really what I wanted to do though and it did not fill the
parameters of my self – made promise.
I nagged and nagged the Child Find Alberta Office and In 1991 I became a card
carrying volunteer of Child Find Alberta.
I was trained by Dave Credland to be a volunteer Case Manager for parents of
all missing children. I am on call 24 hours a day and seven days a week, for
Alberta, British Columbia, N.W.T.'s and the Yukon.
At the time I assisted parents in exploring their options to locate their
children. Giving them emotional support while and taking their information for
Child Find Alberta, for essentially I am just a good listener.
Though I am not a trained social worker/psychiatrist or lawyer, what I do let
them know is that I am a parent. Who like them, has already gone through the
same fog of despair of a missing child. I give them my hand and together, we
walk as far as we can.
After I gathered the necessary information I send it to the full time week day
Staff and Investigative Unit via whatever means possible. From that point the
full time week day, Case Managers then set up appointments and started the
process to hopefully recover the Missing Child.
Since then, I have taken 300 plus calls all hours of the day and night and in
some of the strangest places.
Once, I was out of town and on a power pole assisting in the installation of a
new power line to my family’s new garage. I was passed up a cell phone by my
sister with a distressed parent of a Missing Child on the other end. I relied
on my memory of the conversation to write my report. At that time of Child Find
Alberta’s operations, I was afraid that I would lose the call, if I moved or
hung up for a moment. So I stayed on my power pole and the bonus was that I
also had a great view of the Rockies!
One of my scariest calls and we all have one, is a call that I received at 3 AM
from a young man who informed me that he had run away from out of province and
he had just arrived in Calgary. He went on to inform me that he was getting no
help from anyone even though he was a reported “runaway”. The Police and drop
in centres would not help him and I was his last resort!
With help from my late wife I was able to contact the Calgary City Police
Services and they were going to send a car around to this young man.
He threatened suicide if I did not come down to where he was and help him out.
I explained that I could not come down to where he was and that the Police
would soon be there to help him out. Then he abruptly said well, “That’s it!”
“Thanks for nothing!” “My death will be on your hands” and he hung up.
We both (my wife and I), sat there in the dark enveloped in the chilling
silence and just did not know what to do.
The Police dispatch said that a car was to be dispatched but how long would
that take and was this young man still at that location??
Both my wife and I just stared at each other and I was torn about going to him
or not but that was not in my training, as I had done all that I could do.
I did not sleep much that night and the next day I was informed by Dave
Credland that when the Police arrived at that young man’s location.
That there was not just one young person there, like we thought but also
several others. Who, if I ignored my training and went to personally assist
him, they would have promptly mugged and robbed me for my efforts. This young
man not only was a runaway from out of province but one with a long list of
outstanding violent arrest warrants to his credit.
These are again just two of my bizarre stories that we, who do this kind of
volunteer work sometimes come across.
Through all of these calls and experiences I was lucky enough to keep my
promises.
Which again was to make sure that no-one whom I ever came across, would have to
go through this horror the hard way, alone like I once did.
I then had the honour in March 2003 to be chosen to attend training and become
a member of an organization called Team H.O.P.E. (Help Offering Parents
Empowerment) for 10 years (2003-2013) I was a volunteer for the National Centre
for Missing and Exploited Children's Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents
Empowerment). Since then combined with Child Find Alberta work I made nightly
calls to over 408 Parents and assist them in the recovery of their Missing
Children, again starting with Child Find Alberta and then through Team Hope of
the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children. The NCMEC is the
U.S.-based centre that was co-founded by Patti Wetterling, Abby Potash and John
Walsh of America's Most Wanted after the murder of his son Adam.
I took
all calls related to Missing Children, North America & International. I was
able to handle these through the extensive training that I received. Also I was
proudly part of the team called the “Grief Busters”, which is Team H.O.P.E.’s
most western group of volunteers.
From which, I have brought these new skills to Child Find Alberta and I use
them regularly. For I now have more knowledge to offer and I am making great
headway to keeping my self-made promise. For my promise continues and will
probably continue till I do not.
Also in 2004, I became a Christian at Centre Street Church, to keep my second
part of my 2 promises. From here at Centre Street I again volunteered I was
able to take the little bit of computer knowledge and use it to help build a
Computer Lab at the High School in KwaZulu-Natal Province, Bhekulwandle South
Africa. Through Samaritan’s Purse Canada, I went to the Gulf of Mexico
(Mississippi & Louisiana) and I assisted in the recovery of 70 Hurricane
Katrina ravaged homes. I am very proud of all this and I am also in awe at how
far I have come since I was the very distraught parent of Missing Child 28 plus
years ago.
Posted by
Sir Richard…
P.S. The abductor has not tried to visit still 28 years to date.
