MY NEW CANCER SURVIVAL IDEA:

MY NEW CANCER SURVIVAL IDEA: First I thought when I found out that I had Stage 4 Soft Tissue Sarcoma Cancer and asked, “Why God”, are you letting this happen to me? Why do YOU not take this away from me now?? Basically, “WHY ME LORD????” With a very honest, selfish, childlike slant on my own horror, to this I pondered and pondered. So much so , that I became “VERY” frustrated, sad, angry and I even at times vented my displeasure to others and to GOD many times over.
I asked GOD, “could I not instead win the lottery”, or “why could I not have become famous”, why must I be blessed, with a possible shortened life due to Cancer? As I am far too young, to be going home to heaven right now. The fear of saying goodbye so early would even wake me up at night, as my “FAITH” was shaken to its core. “Come on GOD I would ask, please just talk to me; let me know what and why I deserve this?” The silence then became deafening and myself pitying thoughts, took over every aspect of how I was living.
In Church you would hear of how we need to give thanks to the LORD and I would ask; “Thanks For What?”
“Thanks, such as in my case; a bed reserved for me in the Cancer Ward, of the Tom Baker Cancer Center!” Or Thanks for our existence on this crappy world that we all live on, where; war, fear, hunger, disease and hate are the way of things? So, just like the Cancer does, my anger, bitterness and self-pity started to eat me from the inside out, until after a few more shocks I finally reached Rock Bottom & I Was Down On My Knees…
Then it came to me one morning at breakfast, “A GOD Thought”, if you wish or believe. That maybe the reason for my possible death and by the way, I plan to live a long time, as I believe that “Cancer Can Be Beaten!” Maybe this happened to me as an example to others as to how to handle their Cancer, or to assist someone who knows of someone with Cancer. GOD maybe, is using me as an example on how to handle it. Yes Cancer, with a Big “C”, for when you get it that is how you see it. After all, many times I have been and am a “Volunteer” for others with my life’s experiences, why not a “Volunteered, Cancer Example” for others?
Then as I looked down on my tasty blue berries in my morning cereal, maybe I do have much to be thankful for. After all I have a wife who really Loves me, grandchildren, children, extended family, Team Hope Family, friends and yes even my puppies who really Love me and care! How blessed am I and “Thank You GOD!”
For, I am grateful for the Food on my table, as I can pretty much eat whatever/whenever I want, “Thank You GOD!” as I have great country to live in, a home, heat, clean water and I have a car, no I have 2 cars, that I can drive around any time when many have nothing! “Thank You GOD!” as I have a computer to send this New Cancer Survival Idea of mine, too many parts of the world. “Thank You GOD!” for the memories of my life past and current and these memories I must admit, are mostly “GOOD”.
“Thank You GOD!” for friends whom I really Love and Love me and have Loved me, up to 40 plus years now. As I write this I know that I can call some of these people and say “I Love You” and they will respond back, “I Love You Too”, can many say that? Most important I have GOD, who will always and has always, Loved me!
So what took me so long to “Give Thanks To HIM” for all the many little things that are not so little, which I am blessed with? For thinking about these many blessings, I now feel very Loved, Warm and Cozy. For my cancer is now a fightable small “c” as I can now see, how well GOD has taken care of me!
By Sir Richard aka Richard Abbenbroek a small “c” Cancer Warrior!
http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.com/
P.S. I now tossed in this song as it brings back memories of my past & present, Day by Day = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3PjfBQjJT8