A CHRISTMAS PAST
Once my favourite time during the entire year is
Christmas. The Excitement, Loves warmth during the Winter’s cold and a certain
renewal of Hope is what makes it so special for me. For when I was little, as
all children do I thought that I knew everything but the last thing you really
want is to know as a child is too much. What you really want is for the
grown-ups in your life, to make the world a safe place where dreams can come
true and promises are never broken. And when you're little, it doesn't seem like
a lot to ask. So Christmas for me always has and for all time, fulfilled all of
these needs.
Fast forward in time to when my children were once
small it was I, because of “Christmas Excitement” who never slept through the
night. My children were the ones who all seemed to sleep till late Christmas
morn and too my frustration an only at that time, did they finally wake up!
While silly me, impatiently stayed in my bed waiting for them to come and awaken
me.
Going even further forward in time, to October of
2010 it was the start of my Worst and Best Christmas ever! That was when I had
my second Cancer operation to remove Stage 4 Soft Tissue Sarcoma Cancer, which
at that time and so far (knock on wood), was only in my left
arm.
My surgeon, plus 2 in training surgeons and my
good wife, along with myself were all gathered in an examination room to talk
about my 2nd operation results.
The surgeon then informed us all that the
Pathology Lab said that I had Stage 4 Soft Tissue Sarcoma Cancer and regretfully
also, he was unable to remove it all. So another operation was to happen to me
and this would now be done by a Soft Tissue Sarcoma Cancer
Specialist.
It was then that my wife asked what my prognosis
at that time would be and the Surgeon then said; “That usually, the survival
rates for this type of Cancer is but 1 year and 5 years or more, if our program
is successful”.
The room went immediately silent as a tomb, except
for the gentle weeping from my wife.
All the Surgeons had their heads hung low and
though in shock myself I felt compelled to do my best as a “Volunteer for The
Missing Children” response; “That There Is Always Hope!”
By cracking jokes and trying to cheer up as best I
could, all these really down people…
The next Surgeon, who is the Soft Tissue Sarcoma
Cancer Specialist Surgeon, only confirmed the previous surgeon’s diagnosis,
adding to it also that at the least, the worst possibility is that I may lose my
left arm, if the Cancer was down to the bone.
My next operation (number #3), would be on
December 23rd 2010 as there was a cancellation for that time slot and as I have
an aggressive form of Cancer, waiting around was not an
option.
Well I ranted of course, told many people; you
included and it was then that I was given the compliment that I was handling
this all so well? In actuality though for those who really know me, you know
that I am only calm while helping others but with myself,
never…
My thoughts at the time were; “Only one year
hmmm??”, that would place my demise on this earth and arrival before GOD
sometime around October, November, or December 2011. So I Prayed to GOD; “do not
let this happen on Halloween please”, as I might actually be under one of those
fake tombstones next year in reality. Halloween now seems not so cute
anymore…
Remembrance Day, GOD please not then, as this date
was and is reserved for “HEROES” and that is definitely not
me!
Or Christmas, LORD please not then as I would ruin
that day for many, for many years to come due to my
passing.
Then one day my handling of the prognosis so well,
well that all but disappeared as I walked to the mail box to do the simple task
of retrieving our mail. I do not know why but I just started to cry and cry, to
the point where I just could not take one more step and I almost collapsed to my
knees, outside for all to see…
So then Christmas Day 2010 came and operation
number #3 was over. They decided to send me home too early as they thought they
were being kind but really, I should have just stayed in the
hospital.
For I was in such Pain, followed by even more
PAIN, yet I was also tickled pink and so relieved that I still had my left arm
but I was sooo drugged up. I remember my son’s head bobbing in and out of my
line of vision, the bright sun light of that Winters day burning into the back
of my eyes as I was helped into my home. A Christmas dinner plate of food, that
at someone kindly put before me but I wondered why? Also, I have a memory of
some problem to do with my puppy dogs and the back door but really, I remember
not. What I really do remember for sure is my joy that I still had my left arm
(albeit a shark bite look) and also, that I had made it through this operation
to this day, Christmas Day!
Well as you all know, since then I have had
another Cancer operation (#4), and also another year has gone
by.
The saddest thing is I have out lived my Wife
Joyce and our puppy dog Lucy.
GOD that year has given me this Special Christmas
Gift, which was many years of life and maybe many more, sharing Christmases with
all of you!
So now I would like to send you all, my Love and
with all that heaven will allow from this CANCER SURVIVOR, may you have “A VERY
MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
From,
Sir Richard aka Richard
Abbenbroek
