YES THIS IS MY HEART A BROKEN.

YES THIS IS MY HEART A BROKEN.

 https://youtu.be/5LWpw3CMCEg

At least, you all have many friends to talk to.
So many in fact you can easily choose to talk or not to talk too?
I have, by being myself have not so many (as I am talking to myself now) and once again, I have only but a few. So if I loose one, it is not a digit that I loose but an appendage.
They say to properly say that one is "SORRY", you must do so 7 x 77 times. I hope that none of you ever become like me as the ones you really Love when they are gone hurt worst of all!
Two examples; Cheryl said I made her dying sister cry. I did not and why she said that, she never told? Leann said I was stalking her (from 2,000 miles away my Therapist asked?), I did not do this either and I am in shock still with that one too?
I guess they both could have just ghosted me I suppose. Yet the pain is no less than when Joyce went to heaven from me! I did not do that one either, I just found her at home but gone.
https://youtu.be/bNUHUuREFWw
Well people whom I still Love, I Love you all! Even though, I feel like today, that I am sorta just slowly fading away...just a party of one.
https://youtu.be/FW5xe1FpDfQ
Sincerely,
Richard.

SOME OF YOU I WILL HAVE TO UNFRIEND

SOME OF YOU I WILL HAVE TO UNFRIEND;
OR ASK THAT U UNFRIEND YOURSELF
FROM ME BY JANUARY 9TH 2015.  
https://youtu.be/BPbR3uovtf8
For as of this December 27th my dear wife and best friend Joyce will be gone for 7 months.
Also seeing that someone in TH has labeled me a Stalker, which my wife before she died said that this person who labeled me; has in her opinion, just lost a Good Friend - me! Yet, among my American Cousins, I am dishonored. Besides I cannot take the loneliness without Joyce anymore but mostly the callous, thoughtless, indifference to my suffering. You one day will remember the things that you said to me like;
1. At least she lived a long life, many people die far too young
2. She is in a better place; true but Joyce being here would be better.
3. She brought this on herself, you know!
4. There is a reason for everything; yes I have read Ecclesiastes 3 also.
5. Aren’t you over her yet, she has been dead for a while now?
6. You can re-marry; there are many fish in the sea!
7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with Him.
8. I know how you feel, I have read about it.
9. She did what she came here to do and it was just her time to go
10. Be strong dear but life moves on so get over it! Or Done with sulking yet?
11. "It's been 7 months since Joyce died. You should think happy thoughts as you also just need to: "Get over it!"
12. I'm sure you did all you could. https://youtu.be/IuWsRkF5SIo
All I could? Why did I go out that day!!! Why did I not rent an at home defibrillator? Why did I not have a Intracardiac injection of lidocaine handy?
Why did I not try CPR harder even if I broke her bones and not cry so dam much?
She is ashes now, I cannot put her back together, I AM NOT GOD!
Why did this HAVE TO HAPPEN?
Why am I such a failure?
I just keep thinking this, over, over and over?
The TV News people because of President Bush Sr., being sick, send their prayers out to him; as one would do, on a to do item list?
Or a can of tuna, pre-cooked ready to serve can of prayers! Wonder what would happen if they stopped and really said a prayer for real right then and there on TV?
Maybe if I had stayed by Joyce praying, doing CPR again, even if I broke some ribs, then she would be alive right now!  
IT IS MY FRACKEN FAULT, I SHOULD HAVE BEGGED GOD AS I CRIED!  
https://youtu.be/9Z8-9WwjeqM
As for me; I am bleeding again due to newly re-acquired cancerous polyps. They removed 20 last time and now the bleeding is back which means I have them again. Lucy my Boston may have to be put down as her strokes are increasing and I do have a real Good Home for Lilly the pug. My sister in-law and her husband will come and take her home to their house. So I thank Jesus for Joyce as for me she is a blessing from GOD! Amen.
What rarely was said to me was;
1. I am so sorry for your loss.
2. I wish I had the right words, just know that I really care.
3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help you through in any way that I can.
4. You and Joyce will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5. My favorite memory of Joyce is…
6. Remember that I am always just a phone call away and I will make time for U.
7. May I just give you a hug instead of saying something?
8. We all need help at times like this; remember that I am here for you!
9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything JUST CALL 24/7 IF U NEED TOO!
10. I am not going to say much but let me put on a pot of coffee and can I help vacuum or do your walks for you? We could even go shopping if U would like?
SO SOME OF U ARE NOT HELPING OR YOUR LACK OF CARING IS JUST TOO TOXIC.
GOODBYE AND REMEMBER ONE DAY YOU WILL SADLY BE HERE TO!  
https://youtu.be/P6ekwuhHqXI
Matthew 5:3-10
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Amen…
Posted by Sir Richard… http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/

ALL ALONE THE SECOND SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE.

ALL ALONE THE SECOND SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ab8BOu4LE

For these wounds of your loss, just won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too great and yet so real!
There's just too much of it, which time cannot erase.

I'm so tired of being alone by myself, so many a tear.
Haunted and suppressed by all my childish fear.
Cause your presence still lingers here.
As it won't and yet I don't, want it to leave me more alone.

For these wounds of your loss, just won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too great and yet so real!
There's just too much of it, which time cannot erase.

Remember when you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream in terror I'd fight away all of your fears.
As I held your hand, through all of your illness and as we walked those many years.
Still you’re gone and once there where two, now there is sadly only the one.

I was always captivated by your resonated life's light
Now I'm bound by this lonely life, as you left me behind?
Your face it haunts me every waking minute, or so it seems.
Your passing has chased away all the sanity in me!

For these wounds of your loss, just won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too great and yet so real!
There's just too much of it, which time cannot erase.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're still in my heart, no goodbye song.
Though you're still with me, you are a Life's Partner, my Best Friend and other than GOD, the Depth for Love of my Life.
Though I may just be fooling myself, as I have been, all alone the second that you've been gone...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-X-U0bd4xs

By Sir Richard to his Lady Joyce.

http://bayo-hunter.blogspot.ca/