Monday, October 27, 2014


Of late I have again, been in tears every day due to the pain of my loneliness, for my wife Joyce (who passed 5 months today) and at the same time. I find it hard to even venture out my house, even if only just as far as the community mailbox.
You may not know it but I have been trained to fake being OK and at times in control. As there are those who say that I should be this way now but I am not.
For I am good at saying with Hope what needs to be said to Parents of Missing Children and even to myself, a lie? No; for at times, just a needed helpful diversion.
So I take my meds, deal with my puppies, eat, or each day just try to get out of bed.
Really and truthfully I wish that this was all just a bad dream from which when I awoke, it would be gone from my head.
Seeking some trustful advice I text my Pastor Friend, asking if he thought that I should talk this through with my new forever Roommate?
Good idea my Pastor Friend said; and also suggested that I read some of my forever Roommate’s words that are written in our Roommate’s agreement (the Bible).
Maybe try Psalm’s 46 or 62; to quote what my Pastor Friend said.
So after reading these, I did text my Pastor Friend back. Telling him that I have read my Roommate’s agreement and that my Roommate’s hand must be behind me reading this passage; Psalm 42.
For which I inadvertently selected upon opening my Roommate’s agreement.
It seemed pre-chosen and not at all, by mistake?     

Psalm 42
1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for You, my GOD.

2 My soul thirsts for GOD, for the living GOD.
   When can I go and meet with GOD?

3 My tears have been my food day and night,
   while people say to me all day long,
   "Where is your GOD?"

4 These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
    how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One
    with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
   Put your hope in GOD,
   for I will yet praise Him,
   my SAVIOR and my GOD.

6 My soul is downcast within me;
   therefore I will remember You
   from the land of the Jordan,
   the heights of Hermon,
   from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
   in the roar of Your waterfalls;
   all Your waves and breakers
   have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs His Love,
   at night His song is with me,
   a prayer to the GOD of my life.

9 I say to GOD my Rock,
  "Why have you forgotten me?
   Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
     as my foes taunt me,
     saying to me all day long,
    "Where is your GOD?"

11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
     Why so disturbed within me?
     Put your hope in GOD,
     for I will yet praise Him,
     my SAVIOR and my GOD.

Posted By,
Richard Abbenbroek
P.S. To My Wife Joyce, I am Waiting for you, Listening for you, Watching for you, Wishing for you and one day in the future, when GOD decides through CHRIST JESUS; on that day Joyce, I shall be with Him and also be near you again.
For just as you did, one day I’ll leave our earthly home but I’ll never leave you or Him...
Remembering you through every second of every day.
With LOVE, from your STM & devoted Grimm – today 5 months, Amen.

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