Why this you ask ? Well my Buddy Ms. Vicki (my American Cousin) brought this thought to my mind today of enjoying a nice warm sandy beach that we could all enjoy. That would be so cool and I would love to be warm! If I won the Lotto I would bring a few of you along, as sharing good weather is always a good thing.
Because I am sick of Calgary, Cold Weather and this Cancer Crap so to see why here are some, Truths about Calgary:
1.Calgary is pronounced Calgree, or in today’s economy = Calgreed. Well, this has actually always has been the reality.
2.When driving in downtown Calgary, follow this simple rule: 4th, 5th, 6th, 9th, 11th, and 12th are one-ways east and west. Macleod, 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th are one-ways north-south, I think?
3.Also, unlike the boring grid system of Toronto, Calgary streets are laid out in a quaint quadrant system. One sign on 16th Avenue North (West) reads: "14th Street West South." Don't worry. It will all be clear if you ever move here to you in about four years.
4.Allow yourself several days to find the front entrance of TD Center for the first time.
5.The phrase "You can't get there from here" was invented in Calgary.
6.There is no need in Calgary to worry about raccoons going through your garbage, banging around and waking you up at night.
However, there is an occasional moose, deer, cougar, bear, and many coyotes, or the occasional for no reason weapon discharge.
7.Unlike the long, languid days of dappled sunlight filtering through red maple leaves anywhere else, autumn in Calgary lasts three days, in which leaves turn yellow then fall off. Snow and wind is what you are in for as the rest of the year. Then to be punctuated by two weeks of summer during the Calgary Stampede. Spring, Winter and Fall are actually the same season. To be honest, we only have 2 seasons Winter and July.
8.Remember that when they are running the chuck wagon races at the Calgary Stampede. That you need to get your tent poles and stove in the back of your chuck wagon and if your outrider is late, it's a two-second penalty. This is important, I guess?
9.Also remember that during Stampede, its yahoo, not yeehaw.
10.Ginger beef and the "red eye" (Beer with Clamato Juice) were invented in Calgary, but who cares.
11.That “Shaganappi” is not a dirty word, as it is means lacings made of rawhide and we have named many man made objects with this Cree word ie; a Library Branch and road as an example
Some Myths About Calgary:
1. "I can be downtown from Shawnessy (a suburb of Calgary) in 20 minutes!" Ha - good luck...
2. "It's a dry cold." This one is used at our annual December to February freeze. Actually 40C below zero, as it is the same as 40F below zero and there is no dry or damp about it!
3. Upon arrival at Calgary airport, you will be taken into a small room and frisked for rats as Alberta is a rat free Province. We are a rat free province but the frisking will be done for other stupid things.
Good News About Calgary:
-Calgary has no stifling humidity.
-Bad news: The moisture content in Calgary’s air has been scientifically proven to be equal to that of a Corn Flake.
So, do You Wanna go to a Beach with Me??? With Love - from Sir Richard...
P.S. the picture is one that I took on the boat dock this summer @ Chase British Columbia Canada and one day, Joyce and I will be scattered on the mountain top that you can see in the middle there!
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