Friday, July 27, 2018


Hey, did I tell you that today is our anniversary day?
Yet I am in a rage at people who lay guilt trips on me. Abuse me because I am a Christian and so I will turn the other cheek when they hurt me over and over. Sorry as I am just gripping to another Christians. Then some who pretend to be such need making up their meanness to fellow Christians. I wait for GOD to tell them, for as a mortal I will only exacerbate their rudeness.
Fear not, it is neither most of you or You!
For those who care I do, I thank you but the loneliness is hardest today.
As it would have been 22 years of marriage and 32 years of friendship.
To Have and To Hold from This Day Forward.
Today Joyce and I are celebrating 22 years of marriage. I could write my usual post or Facebook update on how amazing she is and how undeserving I am and how I'm glad we get to go on this journey together and that I hope we get more years on our journey. I believe in those things and can easily say them and mean them. Though as smoke rises and ashes to ashes I am alone, still asking but why?
In a bigger sense, 32 years later we would have had only each other to have and each other to hold. There is no one else and we loved that. We were still each other's Best Friend. What we started in only having and holding each other continued. We were always looking forward to more days, weeks, months, years and decades of only holding one another.
In the last 5 years of her life, we didn't just get the pleasure of having and holding each other as this was a blessing. There was little else in this life given to us by GOD for us to cling to and yet WE still had each other.
We've had remarkable "better" times. I know a lot of married people who seem to Love each other very much. Good on them. I can't think of anyone who has more fun being married than me and Joyce. It's was a trip. The "better" times were just grand, for when the bills were paid, and the basement isn't flooding, and the kids are getting good grades/graduated and there is not any major teenage or adult like rebellions. When times are good, we sung together and enjoy each other's company. We forgive each other quickly and enjoy each other’s idiosyncrasies. We made time to hang out and talk, to get alone and to also spend time around others. But anyone can endure the better times for what came next made the worse times now seem even better. Especially during the last 5 of our 32 & 22 years the "worse" times were really bad. Some things we've been through are still too painful to describe in a post like this, so I won't.
Of course, we had times of health and times of "sickness." What we learned along the way is that we got to endure it together and help each other in the sick times. I've told Joyce many times, that as odd as it seems I have found these times of her greatest fear and deepest sickness, namely right before she went home to be of great growth for me. She was helpless and needy, and I got to serve her. I learned to take care of all our household duties except money which to the end she handled that. From Joyce I learned to have someone lean hard on me in times of incredible need and I enjoyed being there for her. I also learned to lean hard on GOD because I was forced to live beyond my means...which is what I should have been doing all along leaning on GOD!
We thanked GOD for those years of racy Love and the millions of Kisses and endless hours of playful teasing. That's a part of our Love for and cherishing of each other. We thank GOD for the years of settling in to a deep and abiding Love through huge mistakes, hurtful arguments, angry comments, at times putting off forgiving each other, apathetic stretches, and lulls between moments of forgiveness and kissing each other like we really meant it and like we both didn’t have anything better to do.
We had 32 years together that have gone by in a blink of an eye. Again, I will tell you of how we traveled life’s roads and have been there, done that, made it through moments of pee your pants giggles, struggle and strife. Yet my life on this earth was made better with Joyce and now I must live another day and night alone. I struggle to not join my ashes with hers as without her, I am sorry but for me now this is not life, though I am glad also, that Joyce suffers no more…
Hey, did I tell you that today is our anniversary day?
Written by Sir Richard –
For his Lady Joyce.
PHOTOS: by Sir Richard
K.D Lang - Constant Craving
Brandi Carlile – The Story
Johnny Cash – Till we meet again

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