Saturday, March 25, 2017


In the Old Testament Job 1
1 In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2 He had seven sons and three daughters, 3 and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.
4 His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular custom.
6 One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. 7 The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”
8 Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”
9 “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. 10 “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 11 But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
12 The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger!”
Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD…

Richard here, to tell the truth I am working hard every day to become closer to GOD.
Then as for myself being “blameless and upright,” I am always trying to be careful to avoid doing evil. Well, let’s just say that my work is daily, to become even more righteous. So, I would like to testify my story of FAITH with you if I may?

My life I feel at times is a series of crises punctuated by major disasters big and small but I always keep trying. For all of us, is this not what we all do each day of our short lives to continue on till one by one you and I plus every other individual is called home by the LORD.

Just 28 years ago Joyce and I met and just a mere 21 years ago, we had a combined family with my wife Joyce we had her 3 my 2 plus 2 house guests, 2 boyfriends one a cousin, a cat and not to soon after this 3 puppy dogs. Every day was a challenge and adventure at the same time. The thing that I Loved the most was my Wife Joyce both of us like 2 log poles holding the other up when needed. We traveled life’s road and have been there and done that, made it through moments of pee your pants giggles, struggle and strife. Yet my life on this earth was made better With Joyce we were a team.

The Christmas one year was our lesson in gluttony, for I was the present decorative wrapper and when Joyce got the troops and things done would come into the parental fortress of; those who must be obeyed or when voluntold! We both wrapped till three in the morning and were exhausted after this but we did it with LOVE as this was a tradition.

This year though the tree was almost buried (promised Joyce I would never post the photo), all the way up to the Star Tree Topper both of us had a night cap and looked at the insanity of our efforts but eh? Tradition and if you looked at it was sort of an art form. OK maybe if you looked hard with your eyes and imagination while Bing sang “Oh Holy Night” in the background. Now the rules were that this day was the only day I did not have to make coffee for Joyce and our family was only to wake us up at 9:00 AM with our Christmas stockings and coffee for Mom and I, which all could open their stockings but NOT the presents. This is a Voluntold and Not Negotiable At All!

Joyce was not a spring out of bed person, as you could have a War beside her side of the bed and she slept through it. I on the other hand woke up at a creaking of the floor. As this is why I knew that after we crashed at 3:30 AM, that my youngest daughter was down stairs already. Drooling at the presents up to the tree top and reading the labels for hers. Then another child and another till each of the “I CAN”T WAIT” had their turn and now the long hall to 9:00 AM.

Tribble Dog dies, Lucy Dog dies, Lily Dog dies! Other friends do not know what to say and they just drift away…
For the ones who do know, they have nothing more to say and I feel helpless once again.
Another night of restless nightmarish sleep, I wake up drenched in sweat, scared, paranoid, again and again... (Last night it was bad again (March 25th, 2017) as I could only see my puppy Lily Beth’s face just before they put her down. I CRIED all night like I am now. I told her how sorry I was and I know she knew what was about to happen as I failed her too. Yet now It is so lonely here, sorry for being a bother.)

I just want to crawl into a ball, into/under a blanket, under a rock, cause Joyce also died from what her dog Lily Beth died of after her; Congestive Heart Disease and from my life Joyce is missing.
Once upon a time I could help others but I cannot now help myself for Joyce I am missing you... In grief I am HOPELESSLY TRAPPED!

Every moment of every day I am experiencing what I can only describe as intolerable emotional pain, which is unrelenting, ever pressing and directed from different sources consistently all the time.

HOPE is the motivation that we all have known from the time of our own creation.
On through, to the individual growing pains for each member of our families.

From our first beginnings newborns, to this present day, then on toward the end to each of our own individual destinies end.
Each of us waits daily, eagerly for HOPE!
For as each day brings renewal with one or another, again we all await with HOPE.

Nothing from GOD is greater than the gift of LOVE and HOPE! To give your life so another person can live is the ultimate proof of love. During the night that JESUS CHRIST was betrayed, He told His disciples of His intention to give His life in exchange for mankind. He told them: “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” and then He set the ultimate example of self-sacrifice by going to the cross.

For from this without giving another HOPE, what is seen is no HOPE at all.
For whom HOPE’s, for what they already have?

Because if we were to HOPE for what others HOPE for, patiently in HOPE.
Then and only then, will we know "WHAT HOPE FEELS LIKE"!

So remember, once you have it;

As for me well, I have Cancer X’s 2, Heart Disease, Diabetes Type 2 that rejects the insulin I take. Which caused Non-Viral Hepatitis, onto Non Alcoholic Cirrhosis and 40% of my Liver is now dead and my Cancer is back but instead of my left arm it is in my neck, which will be confirmed in April.
I have had 20 Cancerous polyps in my bottom that were removed, also an unrepairable both side of me hernia mesh that that tore away and has pushed things sort of out of whack.
My prostrate is enlarged but not yet cancerous, yet?
Neuropathy from my left shoulder to the tips of my left fingers, also in my feet due to the Diabetes and arthritis in both knees which is really painful should I walk and for shits and giggles a bit of COPD thrown in along with and I still do not believe them, PTSD since Joyce went home to the LORD.

Job 17
1 My spirit is broken,
my days are cut short,
the grave awaits me.
So I am going to have a small bucket list of 1 thing that I can afford because I am fearless!
Again, tears I have a plenty and if tears were like money, I’d be rich!

As with my torment I often feel like Job,
who I am not!
I feel it is the same test of FAITH within me.
Within all of us really, the same test of FAITH
As we sometimes live our lives just as Job did.

Job 19:25-27
25 I know that my redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand on the earth.
26 And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;
27 I myself will see him
with my own eyes—I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!
Written by Sir Richard...
A Dead Man Walking
P.S. Be without fear in the face of your enemies.
Be brave and upright, that God might love thee.
Safeguard the helpless.

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