Sunday, November 2, 2014


What is the difference between NATZI's and ISIS?
ANSWER: The NATZI's spoke German. 

The Royal Canadian Legion has produced a two minutes of silence movie, no sound, just video. 

I am over 57 and the Canadian Armed Forces think that I'm too old to track down terrorists. Apparently you can't be older than 57 to join the military. IMO they've got the whole thing ass-backwards...

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only have memories about sex once a month if that, leaving us approximately 86,399 additional seconds per day to concentrate on terrorists.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a Dangerous Soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are all bad-tempered and impatient and maybe letting us remove some terrorist that desperately deserve it, will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up lots during the night to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up removing terrorists and at the same time, putting the fun back into fundamentalist.

If captured, we wouldn’t or really couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number for us would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys too. For thanks to our loving women folk, bosses and rush hour traffic, we're used to getting screamed and yelled at the same time! Also, we're already used to soft food in MRE’s and we've also developed over time an appreciation for guns. As we've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming, yelling and hunting for that darn remote!

The C.A.F. could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've watched many news casts with war clips and I never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side anywhere, nor did I ever do any push ups after long ago I completed my basic training. Actually, the running part is also kind of a waste of energy; too because, I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. An 18-year old still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade one’s eyes, not the back of his head, or that his pants are to be pulled up!

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home safe and sound, to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. So let us old guys track down those terrorists.

As it would be the last thing a terrorist would want to see; that is, a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes, holding automatic weapons. Old Farts who already know their best years are far behind them and that their futures are all short, so we will make the best of them!
Cause I remember: 
Posted by Sir Richard… 

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